#-place (therefore not allowing it to go as hard on whatever theme as the other outfits)

[drop--pop--candy]

i think chika should get different glasses in her cards. because glasses are way underutilized as an accessory

[shawnjacksonsbs]

But it is me though . . .that decides what I do, how and why. 4-1-23

"But I feel . . .tomorrow will be ok." – Aaron Lewis, Staind’s song Outside

April Fool’s Day is no time for a relapse. Lol Ain’t even goin’ there.

When one little thing goes wrong, you brush off and handle it.

People problems.

Lots of little things happen to all of us all the time . . .we handle them.

But, when it's a thousand little things it can wear on us. They can add up relatively quickly and make it seem bigger than it is. Which generally feels bigger than it needs to too.

It's so unnecessary sometimes. Waste of energy if you ask me. . .letting it eat our lunch like that.

Just take stock in the things we have to be grateful for and move forward, even if it means a change.

Yes, even a big change.

We can only do what we can do.

If you've exhausted all efforts in one particular arena, what is there left to do?

Exactly.

So why allow yourself to feel like you could've done it differently? Just become as prepared as you can for when, and if, things ever start to go that way again in the future.

It happened the way it's supposed to. Accept that, and everything changes. I mean everything.

I've made peace with today as much as someone like me probably can under the circumstances. I imagine I handle my grown shit better than a lot of people.

Mentally, emotionally, even physically I am exhausted but never finished. Lol no lol

I don't know if that's a good quality or a bad one, but it's where I live now.

I just get it, and I remind myself of who I am, where I come from, and everything I've fucking been through.

"This is my life

Its not what it was before

All these feelings I've shared

And these are my dreams

That I'd never lived before

Somebody shake me

'Cause I

I must be sleeping

Now that we're here

It's so far away

All the struggle we thought was in vain

All in the mistakes

One life contained

They all finally start to go away

Now that we're here it's so far away

And I feel like I can face the day, and I can forgive

And I'm not ashamed to be the person that I am today

These are my words

That I've never said before

I think I'm doing okay

And this is the smile

That I've never shown before" – Aaron Lewis, Staind’s song So Far Away (still my theme song for this life)

I mean, it did start right there.

Always keep at the forefront of my mind, "You know who the fuck you are. Don't ever let anything, or anyone, change that.

You are hard, branded, and with your big heart on your sleeve, you are a winner.

Stronger than a lot, and living with an integrity that others keep me accountable for."

It is a responsibility to try and never waver in the heart and mind, and catch quickly those times when I do.

There is no. . .defeated, only some setbacks (some major, but mostly minor) on my way to being success-filled, and with a heart full of gratitude and a loving kindness that always, always prevails in the end, but no defeated.

Exhausted yes, lol, defeated no.

Just when you think you don't know what to write about it.

I'm always like, "Maybe post an apology and say no entry today, and it's because you're tired, or you don't have time (I am working today), or whatever lame reason I can think of."

You just don't realize how many times we nearly missed out on . . .an entry.

My friends call that slick. I call it wack. Lol

Own it, do better when it wasn't your best, and move on.

It rarely ever goes exactly the way I want it to. It can be close sometimes, but life, inevitably, is filled with too many unknown variables.

Therefore . . .acceptance, just like gratitude, makes changes in all the places that matter. Just sayin'.

Now go and share your love and your laughter with the world around you. Be kind, learn to be grateful, and try to love so completely that you don't understand any other way anymore!

Until next week;

“Broke again? Damn you can never be broken. You can fall, you can get bruises, but you can never be broken. You’re living, breathing, and the best example for yourself. You’re made of galaxies, atoms, fire, and so much more. Never underestimate the magic in you. The light inside you can never be handled by the moths. It’s never your mistake, it’s the eyes that are blind to see the love in your eyes, it’s the hearts that don’t understand how your heart beats for them, it’s the ears that can’t hear the screams you try to raise to make them listen and it’s the soul that’s never able to comprehend the message you sent to them.” - Hareem Ch

[o-uncle-newt]

I promise I didn't forget about this, just want to do it justice!

I totally agree that it's not as hard as I made it out to be to find episodes that are mostly great sketches (or even entirely great)- and I personally think S6 is a particularly mid season so I usually just ignore it with the exception of the sublime piano musical. But S2-4 are generally excellent and that's usually where I get my airplane/dentist/grocery store drive/etc listening from.

In terms of your excellent point about the more character driven element, I'd say a couple of things, one of which relates to the other thing we were talking about. The first is that I genuinely think that JF's biggest talent is his story construction. I don't only mean plot- I mean in sketch form as well. The thing that I think makes his sketches particularly good is that he's really good at finding the shape of the sketch- and that extends, as you point out, to finding the shapes of ongoing stories as sketch themes repeat over time. Bringing back a popular character (or even just one that he likes) never really feels gratuitous in the way that these things sometimes can- he's really good at figuring out how to convey whatever idea has sparked the sketch he's working on most effectively.

And that leads to another point, which is that his observational comedy sketches (like pretty much everyone's) are only as good as their construction. There are very few things that any comic is observing for the first time, and so it always comes down to delivery- and as you note JF's generally really good at developing micro-characters and micro-stories in order to do that. Take the seashell sketch- the two observational comedy points there are "well people THINK you shouldn't sell seashells on the seashore but of course it's the best place to do it" and "management consultants SUCK, don't they?". The first is a fun point, the second needs a bit of finesse so as not to come across too blatant and therefore obnoxious (especially as their idea is the usual "shower thought" one that JF is trying to debunk), and the excellent framing device of this sketch allows both of them to be built into one of his best sketches- having the first point be explained via tongue-twister-like poem, having it be set clearly in the world of nursery rhymes and with very rhythmic dialogue even besides the poem, the management consultants being cartoonishly obnoxious in their own right even besides their idea... just in general it builds up a whole mini-world that beautifully conveys everything the sketch is trying to do in a way that takes different observational points and integrates them into a whole story.

(I'd also note- this is also SO down to his incredible crew of actors. He writes for their voices and they have a lot of fantastic voices. He really gets the rhythm of how people speak and it's just great. The fact that he also knows EXACTLY how to write for himself helps too.)

And that brings me back to that final point, about the kind of sketch of his I DON'T like. He's actually talked a bit semi-autobiographically (I assume?) in... I think it was Now Show segments about how he grew up largely atheist/agnostic in British schools that had sort of everpresent religious content, and about the UK being a basically Christian country (in the context of "conservatives need to stop moaning about how it's not a Christian country, and tied in with this stop being weird about people of other religions"). The interesting thing is, his Now Show stuff on religious topics I thought were fine. I don't really go out of my way to listen to him on politics/current events, but on the occasions that I have, his approach is "I may find religious stuff silly but the people who do it have the right to," which on a practical level is probably one of the better ways that someone can approach being atheist/agnostic in a multicultural society. It's a useful framing when discussing events that relate to religion in current events (IIRC he did sketches on people complaining about saying/not saying prayers in the Bideford town council, and one about separate swimming hours for women and resultant media hysteria... not sure what else but I found both of those basically well done and measured).

The thing is... that's not really a basis for observational comedy! Hence my complaints in the tags of my other post- if he says "this is silly and they have the right to do it" then fine, he has the right to think that what I do is silly. If he describes the particular silly act to an audience, explains exactly what's silly about it, and then says "well of course they have the RIGHT to do it and there's nothing wrong with it," then at a certain point that's just a form of mockery that he thinks he's actually too open-minded and tolerant for, as the rest of the sketch (IIRC) is all about. It's totally possible that it actually is funny observational comedy, in which case don't apologize for it- but if it makes him too uncomfortable then you can't split the difference by being all "I'm not ACTUALLY making this joke because I'm too openminded and tolerant for it."

Part of it, and that speaks to my point above about construction, is that he was making that particular joke as part of a more standup-style joke. Basically, there's a reason why JF isn't a standup- I'm sure he'd be perfectly good at it, but he's much much more than perfectly good at doing sketch and narrative comedy! The other kind of sketch he does where he tries to sneak in these kinds of "well obviously I'm not ACTUALLY making this joke" jokes is his meta sketches, and while he does have some really good meta sketches these sorts are some of his worst. One particularly weird one that I don't remember super well is where someone asks why he doesn't have diverse characters and he's like "well it would be really weird to give diverse characters to my all-white cast." Like, maybe, but in that case the easy rejoinder would probably be "well um maybe diversify your casts" but that's a different thing.

(Also- and I now think that this may have actually been the sketch with the observant Jew at the traffic crossing- at one point he's like "what, I should deliberately bring in diverse/minority communities just so I can make jokes about them?" to which I'm like "dude, if that's the way you think about it then just don't bring this whole thing up at all." Like, he's clearly uncomfortable with that idea, and in a one-writer show that's not actually unreasonable, but by attempting to get ahead of/subvert insecurities he may well have about the show's lack of diversity, IMO he's just accentuating them and not in a totally convincing way. And he STILL manages to bring in a minority community just so he can make a joke about it.)

(Also also- if he's really worried about diversity, maybe don't have totally-white casts for any potential future series of Double Acts. Nobody's telling him to change his longstanding sketch program cast, but a diverse Double Acts cast is very very doable. Also I just want more Double Acts.)

The thing is, he has other religion-based jokes that I don't particularly love (and some that I do actually like), but they are at least well-constructed! He's able to give them dimension and entertainment value beyond the particular religious thing that he thinks is funny, and they as a result work much much better, because he's taken full advantage of the thing that he's actually incredibly good at rather than done a less constructed, more indulgent soapbox sketch. Actually, the example I'll give here isn't a JFSP sketch- it's his Good Omens S2 minisode, which is definitely biblical satire (which was obviously already on the menu, because it's Good Omens) and is by a mile the best thing in that season despite, honestly, not being a particularly imaginitive biblical satire. Like, Job is honestly pretty low hanging fruit, and his take is kind of what you expect a Good Omens take to be. But it's still an absolutely BRILLIANT minisode, because he used a relatively basic observational premise and beautifully shaped the story, integrated impeccable character work, and of course made it incredibly funny.

Basically, his gift isn't observational comedy per se (not that he's bad at it), it's turning that comedy into more than just the observation.

Hi! I hope you're doing well and having a lovely holiday season :)

Sorry if you've already talked about this before, I haven't been following you for a long time - but what do you think of the other series of JFSP apart from series 9?

Personally I love them to bits, I have listened to every episode more than 30 times and they're probably one of my favourite things in the whole world. I just love the humour, the characters, the situations - it feels very safe, no mean spirited jokes, very comforting. The sketches feels very autistic-coded to me as an autistic person, much like Martin from Cabin Pressure - some of the sketches are things I doubt a neurotypical person would notice or comment on from the angle he chooses. Like the geek sketch and the 'friend I'm in the mood for' sketch from series 5.

What are your thoughts on these series?

Thank you for asking, that’s an awesome question!

The basic answer is that I am, of course, a big fan. That said, I’d say that as much as I overall enjoy sketch comedy, I do tend to find it hit or miss; and while JFSP has a higher hit rate than most, and plenty of sketches are fantastic*, it definitely doesn’t get there ALL the time.

*Notable faves- Spooktacular, seashells, reincarnation/past lives, “Stop Saying G’nus,” tricyclist… there are loads and loads more, just off the top of my head! Not to mention the excellent ones you already cited…

The functional difference for me ends up being that while I don’t think there’s a 100% hit rate on Cabin Pressure or Double Acts either, I know that if I pick one episode that I like I will enjoy myself for a full half hour. Because I’m less familiar with a given episode of JFSP given how many there have been and how many sketches are in an episode, I don’t have that same sense of instant “ahhh” from turning on an episode of JFSP* as I would from the other two shows, where a lot of my emotions about it come from knowing it like the back of my hand.

*Major exception- S7E6. A perfect episode of sketch comedy that I can listen to literally whenever. No notes.

This isn’t to say that I don’t really enjoy JFSP! I just wish I could pick off a menu of sketches, not simply because I like some better than others but because I like the feeling of “oooh this” on demand that I get from turning on a favorite half hour episode. I will say- I find JFSP to be PERFECT for things like dental procedures and car trips, where I might be in the chair for anywhere from five minutes to two hours and can just turn on a bunch of sequential episodes for as long as I need. But it doesn’t necessarily have the same immediate impact for me as the episodes I love of the other shows.

That said- some of the best things JF ever wrote are Since You Asked Me sketches. I want them pumped into my veins.

[tf2fansderogatory]

scout day

okay we know hes got rabbit theming with the domination voicelines but in my head i take it one step further

"mon lapin" (my rabbit) is a thing to call your son i think and so whenever i daydream i have one universe where scout just cries every time he hears anything rabbit related because he tried learning french and he found out what it means

in other words: hes a blorbo so i make him suffer

it turns out, to some degree, that Spy's eternal smugness is his downfall, something predicted by everyone ever. at the beginning his coworkers were greeted with usual wariness, caution, dodging questions and obscuring answers with well-placed bribes and cryptic threats and careful strategy; it only took him a few days to lower his guard just a tiny bit, and realize his coworkers were mostly obnoxious lunatics with very few coherent thoughts to any of their names, and once he knew who to be careful around he let his guard drop most of the rest of the way. it turns out, if you say something enough you begin to believe it on some deeper unconscious level, and you are an idiot isn't really an exception. It becomes a mantra. Eventually, he decides his teammates are incapable of even normal English and, therefore, absolutely would not know or be able to learn to speak French, so he lets himself be a little less careful. His constant little French phrases are sort of a compromise between secrecy and some other need he doesn't want to put a name to; in some way, it allows him to say anything he wants right to his disgusting coworker's faces without facing any repercussions whatsoever. To Spy it seems like a flawless solution.

But, well… maybe he lets it spiral a little too far. Scout gets the worst of it, and he knows it--everybody's already figured out he's probably insulting them to their faces and have accepted it as a normal fact of life, but Scout's watched him do it to other people and Spy does not do it to other people like he does it to him. It never fucking stops, for one, a constant train of syllables running in-between actual English sentences--and especially when Spy's scolding him, or complaining about his clothes or his voice or the gap in his teeth or the black eye that could've been very easily avoided if he didn't just go in swinging like a fucking idiot--or, the worst of it, when it's dark in the rec room and Scout's reading comics and Spy's in the other corner reading whatever he reads and everybody else is gone and you could cut the air with a knife, and Spy gets this weird little light in his eyes as he mutters and doesn't really hide the fact that he's watching Scout out of the corner of his eye. Drives him up the fucking wall. So he mail-orders one of those stupid little French-to-English books, starts keepin' a little journal of all the stupid shit he says, and asks Engie to help him out when he realizes he doesn't know how to spell French at all (and when the letters on the page are swimming too hard for him to keep his head straight).

Engie disappears for a few hours and when he gets back it's with a big fucking pile of books all about French, plus another big handful of notepads and recording devices. Scout says he doesn't care about it that much, but he does, and as Engie sees it if this is a way to get Spy to stop going through his goddamn things he'll take whatever path he can go. Over the next few days they collect information, spell the best they can, start organizing and translating bits and pieces of it; what they find is mostly insults, as expected, a few pleas for mercy, though Engie comes across a few lines spoken to him that he has to read back a few times to make sure Spy's actually calling him handsome.

Scout's asleep for most of it, to be completely frank. Letters were never his strong suit, but Engie's perfectly happy to truck along on his own. One night, one of the longer ones where he's mostly just there for moral support, Engie nudges him awake; he looks worried, almost, and Scout rubs his eyes as he shoves a torn-out page of a notebook into his face.

It says, highlighted among dozens of nondescript sentences, in Engie's barely legible chicken-scratch: My rabbit, you make my life so difficult. I wish you took more care of yourself. You don't deserve to live like this.

He sees it smeared all over the rest of the page, in the French Engie's still working through--mon lapin, mon lapin. My rabbit. And Engie gets another grave look, and points to a sentence near the bottom, in a considerably neater font.

He says: "This one's 'my rabbit, you look just like your mother'."

Medic runs a DNA test, for a good portion of both Engie and Scout's paychecks. Scout sees a little rabbit plushie in the window of a stupid little chachki store as they make their rounds around Teufort and Demo, who's a little too tipsy to be driving, is surprised when Scout starts sobbing, curled up on the shitty vomit-dusted leather.

Spy gets a visit, after most of everybody else has gone to bed. The broken nose he has when he shamefully stalks into the kitchen for breakfast and promptly leaves doesn't really surprise anyone, and neither does Scout's sullen silence for most of the morning into the afternoon. Spy stops going through Engie's things. French, formerly ever-present, vanishes from his general speaking patterns. There would be a celebration among the team, were it more appropriate. Everyone mostly just watches Scout stare at the rabbits running around outside, scowling, and feels bad for him.

[ilovewhiteroses]

The comparison of The Corinthian and Cassidy

Hello there! I hope everyone is doing fine! In this post I looked at the similarities and differences between The Corinthian from Netflix's Sandman and Proinsias Cassidy from AMC's Preacher (they are originally from DC comics). I did this because I love both men and I thought it would be interesting to take a little closer examination at them  😀

DISCLAIMER: This post features mentions of violence, horror and adult themes so do not read it if you are under 18! Also, spoilers for both shows.

NOTES: - I never read the comics, this post is about the show version of the characters (as it is mentioned above).   - Keep in mind that these are my views and opinions therefore they may differ from yours. - I didn't go into depths, I wrote in general terms. - At the end of the post I listed the sources that I used and helped me in this writing. - The most important: All this was written for simple fun, please, no mean comments!  😇

THE STORY: Sandman: Morpheus, the personification of dreams and one of the seven Endless, is captured in an occult ritual in 1916. After being held captive for 106 years, Dream escapes and sets out to restore order to his realm, the Dreaming.

Preacher: Jesse Custer is a hard-drinking, chain-smoking preacher who, enduring a crisis of faith, becomes infused with an extraordinary power. He embarks on a quest to better understand his new gift and literally find God, alongside his trigger-happy ex-girlfriend, Tulip, and new vampire friend, Cassidy.

THE ACTORS: Boyd Holbrook: American actor known for Narcos, Logan, The Predator. Joe Gilgun: English actor known for Misfits, This Is England, Brassic.

THE CHARACTERS: The Corinthian: He was a tall, blonde and charming nightmare who escaped the Dreaming. Despite being old (in the show he was thought to be around 130, although I think he was much older), his desire for freedom and independence was more similar to a rebellious teenager. When he broke free, he enjoyed life and killed people for pleasure over the years and he was notable for his sunglasses, due to the fact that he had no eyes just a pair of small fanged mouths in place of them.  

Proinsias Cassidy: He was a roguish, dark haired (but was blonde in season 4) former human, who turned into a vampire in 1916. Cassidy was around 119 and since he had nothing better to do in the world, he also enjoyed life: he was drinking, used drugs and slept with people. Similarly to Corinthian, he had sunglasses but only wore them rarely. He killed animals when he needed blood and only killed people when he felt he was in danger or felt threatened. He was notable for not having fangs unlike other vampires (season 1), but this was changed in later seasons.

SUPERNATURAL POWER: The Corinthian: Consuming the eyes of his victims allowed Corinthian to view their memories and thoughts.

Proinsias Cassidy: As a vampire Cassidy was immortal, was able to consume deadly amounts of drugs and alcohol without feeling the negative effects (although he passed out a few times when he got really drunk) and had superhuman strength at the beginning of the series.

MOTIVATION: The Corinthian: He left the Dreaming to see what the world had in store for him, but mainly to taste what it was like to be human.

 Proinsias Cassidy: Unlike The Corinthian, Cassidy had no real motivation, he was just out there meeting people, having fun and drinking.

DRESSING STYLE:

The Corinthian: The Corinthian was always dapper, sharply dressed and usually wore white and cream-colored outfits, plus the essential sunglasses. When he killed someone, miraculously his clothes never got bloody.

Proinsias Cassidy: Cass had a rather chaotic fashion style, which meant that he wore whatever he could have find on his way, most of the times clothes that did not go together. In season 1 for instance, he was wearing items from the church’s collection box. When it came to murder, unlike The Corinthian, Cassidy's clothes got quite bloody and it didn't seem to bother him.  

RELATIONSHIP WITH THE TITULAR CHARACTER: The Corinthian: Corinthian had no friends and he didn't seem to need any. His relationship with Morpheus, at least to me, seemed more like a creator/creation one, but at the Cereal Convention, when Morpheus confronted him, Corinthian looked like a rebellious teenager who was angry at his father so there maybe was reference to a father/son connection  

Proinsias Cassidy: Since he used to be a human, Cass longed for friends, but was a lonely soul because, being a vampire, he saw his friends - whom he cared about - die and that meant he had to look for new ones. Upon meeting Jesse Custer the preacher in the first episode, Cass considered him early on as his best friend.

LOVE / ROMANCE: The Corinthian: He was not in love with any human, he just flirted with and was having sex with them to fullfill his needs. Although this didn't mean he was incapable of falling for someone whom he would have had find interesting. I think what he needed was rather appreciation. He never got it from Morpheus but we saw him enjoying the adoration and applause he got from the killers at The Cereal Convention.  

Proinsias Cassidy: Over the years, Cass, quite possibly, had several romantic affairs with humans and became the father of numerous children. In the show, we saw him falling in love with Tulip - who happened to be Jesse's girlfriend-, and dated Eccarius, the vampire cult leader in season three. While The Corinthian used flirtation to manipulate people and get what he wanted, Cassidy's feelings seemed genuine when he showed attraction to someone.

GROUP OF FANS, FOLLOWERS:

The Corinthian: The Cereal Convention, while it suggests that it was a convention for cereal lovers, was actually a convention for serial killers where Corinthian was asked to be the guest of honor. 

Proinsias Cassidy: Les Enfants Du Sang was a cult of vampire wannabes, lead by Eccarius (a real vampire, who turned out to be a killer). He showed Cassidy what vampires were capable of, for example, flying among the stars, controlling minds and transformation.

VILLAIN / ANTI HERO: The Corinthian: He was a sadistic killer, basically the villan of the season. Despite of being the bad guy, Corinthian himself killed several bad people: - Miss Rubio (after she repeatedly refused to let Rose see Jed) - Barnaby and Clarice (the abusive bastard and the spineless wife who was too scared to help Jed) - Fun Land (a child molester who tried to get Jed)

Proinsias Cassidy: Cass wasn't a villain but did some horrible things in the past (assault and battery in Las Vegas, attempted murder in New York). Like Corinthian, Cass also killed some bad guys: - The vampire hunters (who wanted to kill him) - Eccarius (who murdered the vampire enthusiasts) - Frankie Toscani (who tortured him)  

DEATH:

The Corinthian: Well, technically he didn’t die in the first season, he was unmade by Morpheus and has the chance to be remade, to return. 

Proinsias Cassidy: He committed suicide by walking into the sunlight in season 4. 

SOURCES: AMC  Netflix Wikipedia tvtropes.org preacher.fandom.com/wiki/Preacher_Wiki sandman.fandom.com/wiki/The_Sandman_(TV_series) Google Images boyd-holbrook.com/photos showme-yourfears.tumblr.com kissthemgoodbye.net 

[qqueenofhades]

WE HAVE BEEN SO BLESSED BY THE KENOBI SERIES, Star Wars redeemed!! That is all, I'm going back to crying over Anakin / Obi Wan now BYE ILY

I AM SO SHOOK, I AM A HEAP OF SHOOK, I AM A SHAKING HEAP OF SHOOK BECAUSE, BECAUSE, BECAUSE

/SOBS AGGRESSIVELY

Like... this whole series.... I was not prepared in the LEAST? I swore off anything else SW-related after the sequel trilogy (I didn't even watch TLJ and ROS because TFA left me so fucking furious), I took a long time to want to watch Mandalorian even when everyone was cooing over Baby Yoda, and I was NOT expecting to be thrown for SUCH A LOOP by Kenobi but here we are???

Lots of other people have produced far more eloquent and intelligent meta than I can right now, but I am SHOCKED at how well this entire series understood the assignment. I just reblogged another meta about it.... but it is genuinely dark, traumatic, filled with grief and horror, and focused around the unbearable necessity of somehow finding a way to fight and survive when you've lost everything that made you into yourself and that you used to believe in. But at the same time, it's incredibly tender, beautiful, lovely, devastating, and ultimately uplifting. It's focused so deeply on love -- love for the source material, love for the fans, love for the characters, the love that the characters share in all its various forms -- and therefore, it's the utter antithesis of the "Everything is Bad Now Lol" ham-handed grimdark of the sequel trilogy, which ruined beloved relationships, plots, and characters just because.... well, Things Are Bad Now. Even when it tried to be redemptive, it totally missed the point, because it was cliche, perfunctory, disrespectful, and badly plotted (if it was even plotted at all). It borrowed Star Wars names and characters, but it didn't GET any of it. It had no love or respect for the source material or its messages or its core themes and what the story has always been about, and it made you feel stupid for investing your time and emotion in this fictional universe at all. It was just so BAD.

And then... Kenobi. Where you see familiar actors returning to their beloved characters and BEING ALLOWED TO RESPECT THEM? When they play them with so much love and obvious joy to be part of the story?? It doesn't massively change anything, narratively speaking. We know that ANH takes place nine years later and therefore we're aware of where everyone is going to have to end up. But what an astonishing coda to Revenge of the Sith, which is by far the darkest and most emotionally violent of the prequel movies. To show Obi-Wan's journey from the depths of the dark into the Ben Kenobi wise-old-hermit who's ready, by the time he meets Luke as an adult, to guide him toward his destiny. It fills in the emotional blanks with such gentle mastery and it makes you actually FEEL everything that the prequels wanted you to, but weren't adept enough to pull off, thanks to their clunky writing and directing. It's fanservice, but in a way that makes you HAPPY to be a fan, even while it's pulling your heart out and eating it in front of you. And that is hard to do!

And Obi-Wan and Anakin.... GOD. I'm so unwell over them, and all the choices that were made throughout the show. I recently wrote this meta about how Obi-Wan himself takes every toxic-masculinity trope and throws it straight out the window. He's non-confrontational and gentle and required to provide fatherly care for a little girl and spends his time being sad about losing his male life partner, and the narrative places that love at the CENTER OF THE ENTIRE STORY.... I am Shook. Maybe it's because I'm a middle-aged sad queer person, but watching the gentle, delicate queer subtext in a story about a middle-aged sad person (familial or brotherly or queerplatonic or romantic or whatever, however you care to read it, all interpretations of their relationship are valid to me at this point as long as you acknowledge that they loved each other more than anything and in some ways still do) is really getting to me, all right. Anakin was the center of Obi-Wan's WHOLE WORLD and even now, when he finally sees Anakin's burned face.... he gazes at him with a desperate little smile because somehow he's seeing his love again, and then cries and cries and apologizes to him for everything and is utterly unable to even try to finish him off. Obi-Wan climbs out of the pit (both metaphorical and literal) by drawing on his LOVE for Luke, Leia, and Anakin, and that's why any idea that Luke would later tell anyone to reject their feelings and attachments is just.... wrong. In Star Wars, love always saves the day and is always the right choice, unless it's the toxic, possessive love that caused Anakin's downfall in ROTS. The fact that it was honored and cherished so deeply by the acting, directing, and writing for Obi-Wan and Anakin is just.... ack.

Seeing how much Obi-Wan loves Luke and Leia, both for being the last remnant of Anakin and Padme and also for themselves, has also made the original trilogy hurt so much more (especially when you consider that Luke rescues Leia on the Death Star and she doesn't even get to see Ben again properly before Vader kills him! DON'T SPEAK TO ME). Also: REVA!! Moses Ingram killed it the whole time, and the parallels to Vader, her conflict, and her ultimate rejection of the dark side of the Force, bringing Luke back to his family and crying about how she was unable to avenge hers -- only for Obi-Wan to tell her gently that it was the right choice and help her to her feet and tell her that she's free....

/PAUSE FOR MORE AGGRESSIVE SOBBING

And like... the small things! How much Joel Edgerton sounds like Uncle Owen in the original trilogy! Beru being ready to fuck a bitch up if they lay a single hand on Luke! Little Leia being absolutely perfect in every way (oh how I wish Carrie Fisher could have seen her). All the hugs between Obi-Wan and Leia and the way he tells her about her parents and it's clear how much love he still has for both of them! QUI-GON JINN JUST CHILLING IN THE DESERT AS A FORCE GHOST WAITING FOR OBI-WAN!!! (WHEN I TELL YOU I SCREAMED!) LEIA DRESSED LIKE A JEDI AND REUNITED WITH BAIL AND BREHA AND SHE CAN'T HAVE A BLASTER BECAUSE YOU KNOW SHE WOULD RUN OUT AND SHOOT PALPATINE IN THE GODDAMN FACE AND THEN WE WOULDN'T HAVE AN OT, OOPS --

In short, this series was so wonderful, so authentic, so deeply heartfelt, so utterly willing to embrace love and hope and redemption as the ultimate message of its source material, so respectful of its fans and its characters, and I am going to cry forever over it. Farewell.

[candychronicles]

heavens // t. keigo/hawks

A/N: my take on the roommates theme for the bnharem collab! honestly didn’t know where i was going with this one and it seems a bit random/rushed so i apologize in advance but hope you enjoy nonetheless! 

CHARACTER PAIRING: Takami Keigo/Hawks x F!Reader

WORD COUNT: 3,491

WARNINGS: oral (f!receiving), some language 

SYNOPSIS: despite his growing popularity, you two remained steady roommates, which confused you to no end. what was his true motive in keeping you around? 

And they were roommates! Click here to read more!

Hawks was an interesting character to say the least. when you first moved in, you weren’t all too sure what to expect. he was, at the time, a fairly popular hero, but nowhere near the status he held today. he was charming, suave, friendly and it seemed genuine at the time. things went downhill quick though as his popularity rose and along with it, his annoying, god-like tendencies. 

what you didn’t understand was why he kept you around after all this time. you didn’t necessarily need to live with him still, but as he got more popular and therefore gained more money, the areas he lived in grew nicer and nicer until you were on a gorgeous top floor penthouse with a stunning view, all for the price of your original, dingy apartment. what you could afford on your own would be nowhere near the luxury that he was offering. that’s why you stayed, but you weren’t sure why he offered to let you continue to stay with him after all this time.

sure, you were friends, got along for the most part and when you didn’t, stayed out of each other’s hair, but he didn’t owe you anything and you certainly didn’t want to feel like you were in his debt. yet something attracted the two of you together continuously despite it all. 

what you didn’t know was that Hawks very much enjoyed having you around. you’d deny it until you were blue in the face but he heard one too many times you touching yourself in your bedroom, muffled moans matching those of the girl or guy he was fucking that night. he often did his best to give you a show, cursing, spitting, hitting, anything he could do to rile you up, get you to hear the lewd sounds coming from the apartment. you acted like you didn’t know what he was talking about, scoffed when he invited you to join him or give you his own private show and acted like you didn’t know he was doing that all on purpose just to tease you. 

truth be told, you pushed all those thoughts aside when it came to him. he was attractive, very much so, and also very unattainable, in your eyes anyways. his god-like complex was annoying at times but also very warranted. he was popular with everyone he met-children, women, men, the elderly, hell, you don’t think he ever met a dog that didn’t like him. he was strong, powerful, commanding of the quirk he weld so well. his personality was nothing short of smooth, like honey over ice cream melting on your tongue. you felt so incredibly drawn to him that your brain absolutely shut out any idea of it, giving yourself no hope that he would ever reciprocate the pure feelings of desire you felt towards him. after awhile, your convincing became reality and you began to question everything, desperate to detach yourself from his enigmatic ways. 

hey sweetheart, will be gone for most of the day. left some money for groceries and a little extra for whatever you want. don’t miss me too much

-H

you scoffed at the note pasted to your refrigerator, neon pink glaring at you in the morning sun trickling from the balcony window. he had been gone a lot lately, sometimes bringing home people at night, mostly crashing straight on the couch before he had even gotten a chance to change clothes. you acted like you didn’t miss him, miss his presence, the lingering touches that you swore were just him being an ass and making fun of you, but in reality, you missed the hell out of him. the domesticity that he showed when it was just you two vulnerable late at night, tired from a hard day of work, it made you realize that he wasn’t a god all the time after all.

that thought didn’t change your mind about his attainability, however. in fact, it only seemed to spur your ideals on more, convincing yourself that a man who could be so vulnerable and yet so strong was one who deserved more than what you could give. it would never be you and you were content with that fact, or so you thought.

your day was long and grueling, working patrols and small missions as a pro hero. you were likeable enough but when it came down to it, you didn’t care to be popular, didn’t care to make a ton of money or be interviewed by dozens of people a month. you just wanted to do your job and keep people safe and at the end of the day, that was what you accomplished. 

it was nearly midnight when you returned home, the elevator dinging closed behind you as you walked into the penthouse. the lights were still off, everything in place from this morning, which meant that Hawks had not arrived home yet despite him being gone for nearly the whole day. anger bubbled up underneath your skin. you knew he didn’t owe you anything, you knew you were nothing more than roommates, but sometimes feeling so isolated and alone in this big space with no one to talk to or do anything with left you antsy and annoyed. in simple frustration and retaliation, you locked the balcony window, forcing him to come up the elevator like a dignified man, bringing his nightly fuck in through the lobby instead of sneaking them inside like he often did.

it was nearly six am before you were woken up to a loud thud, the door smacking against the wall. you sighed, allowing yourself to calm down before you tried to go back to bed, but before you got a chance, a knock sounded at your door.

“what?” you asked irately, not in the mood to entertain him and his antics.

“why’d you lock the balcony window?” he asked simply, arms crossed. 

as you sat up to answer, you noticed his calm demeanor not so calm anymore. his chest was flaring up and down, body wobbly, and he reeked of alcohol.

“so much for a calm night,” you muttered. “i locked the door because i didn’t want to hear you fucking any of your whores while i was trying to sleep.”

“oh baby, you know you like it, like the sounds i make, the words i say. all you have to do is admit it and i can be all yours.”

“you wish bird brain,” you spat back at him, done with the conversation as you shimmied yourself back into bed, pulling the covers up to your chin and promptly shutting your eyes, ignoring the feeling of his stare burning into your brain.

“i do wish. i wish it were you i was fucking. i’ve wished that since the day i met you, all excited and doe eyed, ready to take on the world and all of its challenges. you never let my fame get in the way, never treat me any differently. you’ve been by my side throughout it all and yet you won’t let me get too close to you. why is that? afraid i’ll break your heart little one?”

you sat back up again quickly only to realize that he had moved to the foot of your bed. he sat down, taking off his boots and shucking them on the floor only to crawl practically into your lap, snuggling into your thigh.

“i won’t break your heart. i’ll only hurt you if you want me to, which i know you do, at least a little bit. but i’d n-never hurt your heart. you’re too precious for that princess, so sweet to me, so so angelic. and yet i can hear your moans through the walls, practically feel you arching off your bed as you chased your high, desperate for a release, wishing it were me who was touching you instead of your own fingers. i can do that you know. all you need to do is say the magic word and i’m yours. no more fucking other people, just me and you. i’ll spoil you rotten, anything you could possibly want and it’s all yours. you’d never have to worry about a thing again, yeah? what do you say?”

your heart hitched into your throat at his babbling confession. surely he wasn’t serious, right? it must’ve been the alcohol talking. you knew that if you said yes he was just going to tease you and tell you that he was joking and never wanted to see you ever again. you were just sure of it… but, in the off case that he was being serious… you couldn’t mess this up.

“yeah, okay,” you replied, voice hitching in your throat as you agreed with him.

you waited a few seconds for the harsh sting of a reply but nothing came. you cast your eyes down to see Hawks passed out, clinging to you as if his life depended on it. sighing, you flopped back down onto the bed, heels of your palms pressed into your eye sockets, brain full of thoughts as you tried to sift through your feelings. eventually you just gave up and passed out against the cool sheets of your bed, too tired to deal with the emotional turmoil you were putting yourself through.

when you woke up the next morning, Hawks was no longer against your thigh but rather plastered to your side. you weren’t sure how you ended up being spooned by the lanky man but it wasn’t necessarily the first time you had cuddled. your brain began working against you almost immediately, convincing yourself that the previous night's events were nothing more than a drunken spur from your roommate and that he did not, in fact, want to be with you.

with those thoughts in mind, you began to wiggle your way out of his grasp, nearly making it out of bed before you felt a hand shoot out and grab you by the wrist. 

“where are you going beautiful? sleep with a man and then ditch him before he even gets a chance to wake up? how heartless of you.”

“oh shut up, you know damn well that we did not sleep together. in fact, you came in here at six in the morning just to simply annoy the hell out of me. now that’s what i call heartless.”

“we didn’t sleep together but we could’ve,” he teased, fingers rubbing gently up and down your arm as he attempted to coax you back into bed, but your mind worked on overdrive, simply not believing that he was interested in you at all. 

“why do you always like to make fun of me, huh? does it give you some sick satisfaction to dangle hope like that in front of my face only to snatch it away from me if i ever say yes?” you spat, getting sick and tired of his games.

“princess, i’m not lying to you, nor am i making fun of you. i would never offer something like this if i wasn’t serious. i want to take care of you in any way i can-emotionally, sexually, financially, anything you need, i want to give it to you. i was trying to drop you hints, give you the space to come to your own conclusions but it seems that i miscalculated how that pretty little brain of yours works. instead of believing that i was seriously flirting with you, it seems as if you thought that i was making fun of you instead. how funny that the mind works like that sometimes. i must admit i was a fool for not seeing it sooner, but now it makes so much sense.”

“what are you rambling on about?” you asked, furrowing your brow in confusion as you tried to make sense of the fact that he was not only dead serious about wanting to be with you but also psychoanalyzing your thoughts at the same time.

“how you would always get mad when i brought people home but never said anything to me, how you always scoffed at my sweet words, would never take money from me despite me leaving it very clearly for you, never getting too close to me despite living together for years. i’m honestly dumbfounded that i didn’t realize sooner. you’ve been in love with me for a long time too, huh? except, unlike me, you truly never thought you had a chance.”

“u-uh, yeah, i-i just, Keigo, what are you really trying to say to me?”

“sweetheart, be mine, wholly and fully in every way possible. let me take care of you like i’ve always wanted, always tried to do. this isn’t some joke or elaborate ruse, i’m not lying to you or trying to hurt you in any way. i really, truly want to be with you.”

you exhaled heavily, not realizing you had been holding your breath the whole time, searching his eyes for any sign of a lie, not finding anything except sincerity and hope.

“okay,” you relented, nodding your head. “yeah, if you say you’re not lying to me, i’ll trust you. i just, i don’t know. i never realized that you actually liked me back. i never would’ve guessed it in a million years. never would’ve thought i would hear any words like that come out of your mouth let alone so sincerely.”

you looked down, twiddling your thumbs as you contemplated the situation once more, but before you could let your brain get the best of you, Hawks placed his slender fingers underneath your chin, lifting your face up so that you could peer at him. he leaned forward slowly, foreheads pressed together.

“is it okay if i kiss you?”

you nodded your head, squeaking out a quiet “yes” before surging forward to place your lips on his, desperate to feel him, desperate to quiet the negative voices in your head and surround yourself with him instead.

he matched your pace eagerly, wrapping his hand around the back of your neck to pull you forward even more, his own desperation leaking through the kiss. he was so enamored with you, the way you smelt, your mussy hair, the sparkle in your eyes, the feeling of your soft lips against his own. it was almost too much to handle. he hadn’t been with anyone in awhile, preferring to wait it out and confront you when he had the courage to do so, and he felt himself getting more and more antsy as time went on. he wanted to respect you, treat you with the dignity and honor that you deserved, but in that moment, all he wanted to do was ruin you and mark you as his own.

“baby, you need to tell me if i go to far, yeah? i just want to make you feel good, never uncomfortable. let me take care of you like you deserve,” he panted, adjusting himself closer to you.

“i trust you Keigo. i’m yours.”

he groaned at the sound of you, of how pathetic and weak you were towards him, how you trusted to be vulnerable around him, trusted that he would take care of you. he had never wanted to ruin anything so badly in his life and he was going to do his best to make sure you knew you were his.

the kisses turned more sensual, tongues dipping in and around each other, exploring one another for what felt like the first time ever. for you, it had been awhile, telling yourself that you were too busy to be sexual with someone else when in actuality you had been craving a certain blonde all along. for him, this was something entirely new and special. he never got the chance to be truly intimate with anyone, let his guard down, want to please his partner more than himself, but you were different, special in the fact that you loved him for him and no other reason than that. 

“please Keigo, i need more,” you whined, fisting at his shirt as you tried to pull him impossibly closer to your body. 

“anything for you princess.” 

his shirt came off first, a delicate process he mastered years ago. he reached for your own shirt, fingers playing at the hem as he once again asked permission. you replied by pulling it off yourself, exposing your breasts to him. he immediately latched onto your left nipple, hand coming up to pinch the right, gently coaxing you to lay back down on the bed as he followed, hands and mouth never leaving your body. he laved you with his tongue, leaving a trail of cool moisture in its wake, sucking and biting at every soft spot he could think of, wanting so hard to hear you moan. 

“that’s it baby, don’t be shy. i want to hear you moan, say my name.”

you responded with a groan as his hand came to rest on your clothed cunt, feeling the wetness through your shorts. he smirked at the realization that you did truly want him as bad as he wanted you and the thought had his cock straining in his pants. it wasn’t long before he had freed himself from his confines, watching the way your eyes drank up the sight of him through the filtered light. 

gently, you reached out your hand to paw at his cock, marveling in the way it twitched at the slightest touch. you were enamored by him, all of him. before you kneeled a greek god willing to worship you, a mere mortal. you didn’t know what you did to deserve this but you figured you’d spend the rest of your life thanking the heavens.

“don’t worry about me right now, yeah? let’s just focus on making you feel good,” he cooed, reaching down to gently tug at your shorts.

you lifted your hips up without question, allowing him to pull the fabric down your body, your underwear coming along with it. he greedily watched as your slick stringed against the fabric before snapping. he was amazed that he could make someone so wet just by kissing them and was more than curious to see how soaked he could get you by the end of the morning.

he slowly dropped himself down to the edge of the bed, positioning himself between your thighs. kisses were placed to the soft flesh on your legs, pinching and nipping along the way, relishing in the squeals and moans you let out of your mouth. experimentally, he licked up your slit, watching how your breath hitched and your hands grasped the sheets below you, desperate to hold onto something. he licked again, this time using one of his hands to hold you down and the other to come and open you up. you responded immediately, back attempting to arch off the bed at the already intense situation.

he started up a steady pace, watching each little movement, breath, moan, grasp of the blanket to analyze what you liked best. he was enraptured with you, everything about you. you were so strong, fighting crime like it was nothing, doing anything you could to keep citizens safe and yet here you were, putty in his hands, baring your heart for him, trusting that he would take care of you.

the pressure inside of you slowly built up. it was like an intense heat you had never felt before, white hot and pulsing inside your abdomen. you clutched the sheets, your thighs, his hair, anything you could to purchase yourself to this earth as he brought you closer and closer to the promised land. finally, with one final lick, you came, crying out his name in a symphony of praises, singing to the high heavens.

he watched as you came done around his tongue, how your breath labored, eyes screwed shut, face flush and face twisted in pure pleasure. it was a magnificent sight to see, you so relaxed and carefree, enjoying every feeling that flooded over you.

when you had finally come down and your breathing began to even out, you opened your eyes to find Keigo still nestled between your thighs, head resting gently on you.

“how are you feeling love?” he asked, pressing a kiss to your hip.

“like i just left this world and came back,” you answered truthfully, laughing at his proud expression.

“are you okay? is there anything i can get for you?”

“no, Keigo, i think i’m okay,” you answered truthfully.

for the first time in a long time, you felt at ease. your body was relaxed, your mind foggy from the pleasure and you had the man you loved staring up at you like you were the only thing in this world that mattered.

“good, i’m glad you’re okay because we’re not done here. lay back down baby bird, let me make you feel good.”

[bobohu4eva]

Pink Lace - Preview/Chapter 1

Characters: Baekhyun x Reader

Genre: College AU, stripper AU, fluff, smut, slow burn

Summary: Baekhyun, a philosophy professor with mysterious wealth, got himself completely fucked over a girl who can’t let him into her life. 

Word count: 2k

Warnings: sex work, mentions of sexual assault, adult themes/situations, eventual smut

Master list

“Looking good tonight Candy.” 

You rolled your eyes, frowning.

“Thanks Dave.”

Having your manager check you out every time you clocked in was one of the less fun parts of your job.  

You didn’t clock in to make any kind of hourly pay, and your real name was definitely not Candy. As a dancer at a gentleman's club you made your money on a pole and in private lap dance rooms, but it’s whatever pays the bills, and as a college student being able to make over a thousand dollars a week working just two nights was worth it. 

After checking in, you went back to the dressing room to check your makeup and outfit one last time and grab your money bag before heading back out to get your night started.  

Saturday nights used to not be your favorite, but they had been for a few months now because of one customer. The first night you met him, his friends had dragged him in after getting dumped to cheer him up. When you sat down with the nine of them you already knew it would be a good night, judging by the *quite* expensive VIP booth they’d bought. 

Your first impression of him wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, having met plenty of relatively good looking guys while working at the club and being quite used to groups like them doing birthdays or bachelor parties.

They were a fun group, and you found yourself actually having fun as they bought you rounds of drinks and perched you on their newly single friends lap. 

That night his friends bought him a private room with you, and he’d been back to see you again every Saturday night since.  

Baekhyun always arrived pretty early in the evening so you sat yourself down at the bar and made yourself look busy while you waited for him to show up. Tonight you were wearing a matching lace lingerie set along with a new pair of clear heels, and your hair straight down your back. With your nails done and your favorite perfume on to top it all off, you felt sexy as hell. On weeknights you didn’t try as hard, but on days he would be there you always made sure to put in a little extra effort to look as nice as possible. You told yourself it was just because he payed you so much, so you wanted to look your best. But you’d have been lying to yourself if you didn’t admit that you wanted to impress him. Baekhyun, especially compared to other customers, was quite attractive. Having him fawn over you and compliment you always made you feel good. 

You feel a tap on your shoulder followed by a “hey” and turn around to see Baekhyun grinning back at you. 

“Hi Baekhyun” you smile back, getting up and giving him a small hug. 

“Hi Candy.”

Standing in 8 inch stripper heels you’re slightly taller than Baekhyun, and you find his usual glasses + hoodie + cargo pants combo endearing. Despite being somewhere around 30 and therefore significantly older than you, you can’t help but find him cute, adorable even. 

“Can I buy you a drink?” He asks, already knowing your answer.

“Of course, you know what I like” you say, giving him smirk and running one perfectly manicured hand over his shoulder, and down his toned chest.

The whole time you touched him his eyes were fixated on yours, looking at you with an intensity you weren’t used to, something you’d noticed was unique to him compared to the other men you met there.

“Your outfit tonight it.. um..” he says, eyes now looking you up and down, almost drooling. “ I like it.” 

 It was the same thing every time he’d come see you. He’d buy two beers, one for him and one for you, and shorty after pay you $800 for an hour together in a private dance room. For any other guy it would be $1000, but he didn’t need to know that.

You made your way up the stairs towards the area of the club with the private dance rooms hand in hand, leading him behind you to give him the best view.

“Do you want me to dance for you today or do you just wanna talk?” You asked as you entered the room and took your top off, standing in front of him as he sat down on the couch. Usually you would dance for him for a few songs and spend the rest of the time sitting on his lap listening to him talk about whatever it might be that week but some days he just wanted your company and nothing more. 

“Just for this song, I really like this song.” He said looking up at you with big eyes. So, you got to work doing your usual thing.

Getting into the rhythm of the music, you started swaying your body and slowly leaning towards him.

This time both of your hands find purchase on his chest and you move your body in a wave, giving him the full close up view of your bare chest.

As you lean back up you notice he’s slumped deeper into the couch and biting his lip, already thoroughly turned on.

“Holy shit” he muttered to himself, watching your nearly naked form sway in front of him.

The way he looked at your body was different too. Most men looked at you like nothing more than a piece of meat, something to use for pleasure and nothing more. Not that you minded, as long as you got your money, but the way Baekhyun looked at you as you danced for him was almost like someone observing a piece of art. 

You rotated your body until you’re facing away from him, and bent down slowly, the curves of your ass on full display to him, making it jiggle a bit before bending back up and lowering yourself onto his lap.

“God you’re something else, I wish I could touch you.”

You noticed him sit on his hands, because of course he wasn’t actually allowed to touch you, you were only allowed to touch him.

Once you were situated on his lap, you started moving your hips to the music, causing his head to hit the back of the couch.

As usual, you could feel his dick straining against his pants as you rolled your hips over him.

“Fuck” you heard him whisper.

You knew how much he was holding himself back by the way he was sweating and panting. He was one of the few costumers who had never once tried to touch you, not even a little bit. Which you appreciated, but right now you felt yourself almost wanting him to, knowing that his reaction alone would be worth it for you to see.

So against your better judgement, and with the hope of a little extra money, you turn around, knees straddling his right thigh, and put your arms on each of his shoulders. You play with the hair at the base of his neck and whisper in his ear

“If you really want to, you can touch.”

You almost feel bad when you notice his entire body go rigid beneath you, eyes wide at your words.

“Are you serious?”

“I mean nothing too invasive please, but I don’t mind if you want to caress me here and there” you respond with a smile.

“Okay”

You see him swallow as you lowered yourself onto his lap again, this time feeling his hands make contact with the bare skin of your waist.

As you let your hips move with the music, his hands slowly wandered across your waist, hips, and sides. His hands on you were surprisingly warm, soft, and gentle. Under his gaze and in his hands you felt like your body wasn’t just being used for shallow, fleeting pleasure. You felt appreciated.

And this was exactly the problem with Baekhyun.

You knew that you liked him too much, more than you should like one of your customers. You shouldn’t be thinking about how soft and pretty his hands are as they make their way across the skin of your thighs.

“You’re so beautiful. Your skin is so soft.”

You smile, now facing him once again as you sit with your knees on either side of his leg. You feel his words in the pit of your stomach and your hands caress his shoulders and chest, only now with his hands gently placed on your hips.

A few body rolls later and the song was over, so you shifted your weight onto one of his legs, sitting down on his lap, wrapping an arm around his shoulder, and leaning into the couch.

“You’re gonna completely ruin me one day” he breathed out, making you giggle. “Why’d you let me do that?”

“I don’t know, I guess I could tell how much you held back and most guys try to touch me anyway so..”

“They just do it anyway?” His eyes narrowed.

“Yeah well I tell them not to and usually it’s fine after that”

You could sense his discomfort with what you’d just said, looking genuinely agitated.

“Yeah well those guys aren’t worth your time no matter how much they’re paying” he muttered so quietly you almost didn’t hear.

“This is my job Baekhyun, there’s bad customers in every job” you respond timidly.

He turned to look you in the eyes again, this time more intensely due to the proximity of you sitting on his lap.

“Do you like working here?”

“Please don’t ask me that.”

“You know you don’t have to, I can take care of you.”

With the way his eyes bore into yours and he gripped your thigh, you knew he was serious. And you’d be lying if you said you weren’t tempted by his words.

Nonetheless you got up from his lap and sat next to him, bodies no longer touching.

“You know that’s not how this works Baekhyun.” You cross your arms over your bare chest, feeling like you needed to hide.

You look down, not wanting to look at him as you continue.

“It’s my job to make you feel good and give you something nice to look at but that’s all it is. My job. I’m sorry.”

He knew you were right. He knew because despite coming to see you every week for a few months now, he knew nothing about you. You wouldn’t tell him any details about your personal life, hell he didn’t even know your real name.

He knew he was stupid to have let himself become so completely fucked over a girl who wouldn’t even tell him her name.

“It’s okay, I understand, I’m sorry if that was too far”

You look at him again, giving him a soft smile.

“How was your week?” You ask, trying to change the subject.

You soon find yourself back on his lap as he starts talking to you about his week, but you couldn’t help feeling guilty. You could tell what Baekhyun felt for you was more than just sexual attraction, and yet he knew nothing about you. He’d asked you general things and you’d told him you were college student, which was true, but you’d lied about which college you attended. He asked about what you were studying and you’d lied about that too, quickly changing the topic back to him and his life.

Every time he tried to get to know the real you, you pushed him away, and you knew he could tell.

It fell silent for a moment, until Baekhyun spoke up.

“This is for touching you” he said as he dug in his pocket before pulling out three hundred dollar bills and putting them in the waistband of your thong.

He didn’t look at you as he gave you the money. It wasn’t until he was done that he grabbed your hand, and gave you another intense look.

“Please, can I please just know your name?” He asked.

With you sitting on his lap, faces close together you saw the desperation in his eyes. He’d spent a decent amount of time with you now and you knew how badly he wanted to know more about you, how much he wanted to be able to get to know the real you.

The way he looked up at you, with that look in his eyes, you knew you couldn’t tell him no.

You sighed.

“Okay. I’m y/n.”

~

Shorty after your hour together was up, Baekhyun went home and so did you. Counting your money was easy that night; just the eleven hundred dollar bills he’d given you. 

As you took your makeup off and got ready to finally sleep you couldn’t help but feel strange about Baekhyun knowing your real name. Despite how nice he smelled, how cute he was, and how kind, generous, and funny, and how you liked spending time with him more than any other customer, that’s still exactly what he was. A customer. Someone who walked into a club looking to pay hot girls in exchange for their attention. But at that point Baekhyun was your friend too. He’d been coming to see you for the whole summer, and you really did enjoy talking to him. 

Is it okay for him to actually get to know you? Is it okay for you to want him to? 

Next Chapter

A/N: Hello! This felt pretty short which is why it’s kind of a preview/first chapter but please tell me what you think :) and let me know if anyone wants to be tagged for the next chapter!

[theodora3022]

Playing tricks with the trickster

Summary: Failed escape attempt from yandere Childe. He lets you play your cards, even playing along, just for his own amusement.

Notes: My first genshin piece yay... I had a sweet and terrible dream of me running from Childe in the woods. Also some inspiration was drawn from @cinnamonest‘s this post, one big virtual hug to her! I hope I did Childe justice, what can I say I love manipulative smiling boys. It has become a pattern as I dash from one fandom to another. This is had turned out to be longer then I expected...Ginger boy demands my time and energy too much omg. Mind the warnings, although there is nothing extreme in this.

Fun fact, I was looping to Nintendo game by Alessia Cara when writing this down. I believe it fits the theme of this fic quite well.

Tagging: @akutaguagua a great friend who patiently beta-read this mess of a horror dream and gave me lots of kind praises! 

(Offical art belongs to miHoYo! This is a cover page of this video, if there is any issues, contact me and I will remove it at once)

Warnings: Implied past abduction,dub-con touching, mild degradation, drugging(not on reader), implied non-con/dub-con at the end, this is not healthy love and I do not condone this irl.

It has been nearly a month since the youngest Fatui Harbinger had “taken you in”. After a few tries, you were too horrified by the punishments to continuously fight him. You learned on the first day that Childe’s smiling, the friendly mask would come off towards you. Your behaviour would decide if that is a curse or a “blessing”.

So you had quieted down, struggling to restrain yourself from yelling or screaming, carefully not to provoke his anger. Despite being compliant to his orders, you never truly showed him any affection either. Sure, you would sit on his lap if he asked, but you never initiated anything intimate with him. No matter how much Tartaglia spoiled you with clothes, books, jewelry or other luxuries, he is still the one who holds the commanding end of your shackles. It’s the best not to get used to all of that when your sight is set on the door.

Although he has taken your freedom away, you are not kept in a windowless room. On the contrary, you have too many outings now. Wherever he goes, you have to be present in a 2m radius, including meetings. Being a Harbinger is no easy job, so he prefers not having to worry about your safetly during buisness hours. The best way to do that is never let you out of his sight.

“Love, no one should witness our little problems. Well, no one alive that is.” Of course you wouldn’t want to put innocent people's lives at stake. You never dared to act out when you two are in public, and no one would bat an eye if a Fatui had taken a lover. 

You had taken an emotionless approach towards him. If Childe wants a kiss on the cheek, you’ll give him a quick light peck. If he wants breakfast, you’ll go make some pancakes with the topping he likes. Luckily, Childe had not done anything too extreme yet. If cuddling to sleep does not count as extreme that is. The only time you slipped up is when he suddenly hugs you from behind when you’re cooking.  

You thought maybe, just maybe, by being as boring and dull as you could, this bastard might just get tired of you and let you go. Childe only loves the fun of it right? Or maybe it could lower his guard.

Oh, how naive you are. You should have known better than to underestimate a Fatui harbinger. See, this is exactly why he needs to keep you around. Yes, unfortunately for you, Childe loves you, so very much. Speaking to him with a monotone voice isn’t going to alter that fact.

You have been devoid of emotions as of late. While Childe does appreciate fewer screams for the sake of his eardrums, this schemer can sense you are up to something. Perhaps this is the peace before your “storm”(he thought of it more like a drizzle)

You want to play a game? Okay, why not? Childe cannot wait to see what tricks you got on those sleeves. Are you ever getting away? Does an amateur ever win when they play a game with a professional trickster? Never.

Still, nothing bites like a cornered rat. You are no airhead, and he is fully aware of that. Just not as cunning and observent as him, that’s all.

The way you just kept your emotions sealed up is impressive, even to someone like him. Even when he got hansy, you did not flinch and just stared at the corner. Childe can only catch faint glimpses of anger when you thought he wasn’t looking.

Hm, when are you pulling your trigger? Tonight, or tomorrow night? Not that Childe is impatient, anything from you is worth waiting. But he would need to dismiss his patrolling underlings in the nearby woods beforehand. No extras would be allowed to disturb this game.

There is no chance during the day, a somewhat mutual understanding for you two. Night time in comparison, is a different story. 

Anyone’s sleeping hours is their most vulnerable time of the day, Childe is no exception. You do not plan to harm him, not that you don’t want to. But you are willing to swallow the pent up frustration towards him if you would never see his face again after this. Maybe beating up some slimes would help with the release?

You somehow managed to slip a mixture of herbs into his tea. Since he would buy cooking ingredients for you from time to time, you had requested a bunch of herbs along with the ingredients of a sleep inducing medicine you remembered. Although Childe does all he can to keep you near him, there are inevitable hours that he needs to be somewhere without you. He cannot jeopardize your safety with troublesome monsters. On a side note, he loves showing you off to anyone, his colleagues, acquaintances, business partners, anyone he does not deem a threat.

Enough time for you to make those herbs into powder and cover it up with a few spoons of milk. Tea with milk has become quite popular in Liyue as of late. Childe has grown to love them, so you have learned how to mix it up. He always let you handle his food and drinks, saying that he “trusts you”. What you do not know is this is one of the openings he exposed on purpose. It’s not like you can aquire anything deadly under his suffocating supervision.

Your plan will work, or so you think. Childe will not wake up when you wiggle out of his grasp, because dreamland will keep him occupied. All you need is a glider and a usable sword from Liyue and you’ll get your life back. Bottling up extreme emotions has certainly taken a toll on your mind, but it will be worth it if that is the prerequisite of being free.

Something about this being so easy sits ill with you. Have you really been with the youngest Fatui Harbinger this whole time? But that was brushed off your shoulders by the sheer excitement of regaining your long lost freedom. You know Liyue is in walking distance, all you need to do is cross these woods and-

The moment you dive into the forest, you think you heard an amused chuckle. 

That smooth voice terrifies you to no end, the same voice you took orders from for the past month.

Oh, how Childe loves seeing you happy. It’s priceless, both literally and figuratively. No matter how many things he buys you, you had not shown him even one small smile. Enjoy your sweet freedom, because it ain’t going to last. You certainly will know your place after this right? If not you are just dumber then he give you credit for.

That glow of relief in your eyes is worth every last bit of this intense dizzying feeling to Childe. To make sure your plan go through, he had drunk the tea without hesitation, quick enough to catch the momentarily excitement you expressed. He knows the game is on, therefore he had given the night patrol guards the entire evening off. Forcing himself to stay concious by digging his nails into his palms, Childe followed you into the woods.

Your potion is quite strong. Excellent, you’ll have to give him the recipe for informational purposes later. Especially how you managed to achieve such effects with a few herbs you had. He never took you to be anything less than a smart girl, but this has exceeded his expectations. Where’s the fun in a game without challenges?

How you storm through the forest wearing that cute terrified expression looks so endearing, it’s surely not his fault if he wants to enjoy this sight to be longer right.

So, each time you feel the slightest at ease due to whatever reason, expect Childe to make some sound to send you running like your life depends on it again. The sadistic man is hunting you down playfully, like a cat chasing a stray mouse to the inevitable corner.

You know he is toying with you. There is nothing you can do to make him shut up though.

“Love, you had scratched your leg. Must hurts by the looks of it.”

“Liyue is that way, you know.”

“Are you tired? If you want to jog in the middle of the night, you should have called me to come along!”

How can he say those things nonchalantly while you are trying to escape from him?  Here he is, daunting you with that signature smile he wears so very often. That is when reality slaps you right in the face. No matter how hard you plan, no matter how fast you run, there is no getting rid of him.

When your stamina runs out, a simple pull and push on your left wrist is enough to let you fall onto the ground panting. Even now, you still refuse to beg for mercy. You would take the cold grounds to the warmth of Childe’s embrace anyday. 

“Aw, burnt out already? Pathetic. Looks like we need to work on your stamina more. But this is not the place for exercise.”

“Look at me.” His slender but forceful fingers tilt your head up, making you look into those ocean blue orbs. There is anger present in his eyes, but those emotions are more a mixture of delight and that. His smile had also been replaced by a mocking smirk. “You, trying to leave me? Your sense of humor is...well, let’s just call it unique. Lucky for you, you amused me nonetheless.”

“I know what you’re thinking. How I’m a selfish jerk and you hate me. Why be so ungrateful? You get to live in luxury thanks to me, you know. I am selfish, yes, but look how stupid you are. I know you added something extra in my evening tea, my beloved.”

“Come now, we are going to do some exercises suited for a night like this once we’re back home. It is our one month milestone, after all. You had already given me your gift, it is only fair for you that I do the same.”

Childe is not making a sarcastic remark. The thrill of that chase was the best fun he had in months. And you are going to love his gift too, maybe not right away, but surely sometimes after. 

You have to mentally prepare yourself for the worst as he dragged you back to the prison, hopefully you’ll still be able to walk properly after whatever Childe got in store.

[spanishrose2002]

I notice that in many Caryl stories you write always involve the concepts of marriage life and baby. I wonder if it is a thing for all the couples you ship or just for Caryl in particular? And why? Don't get me wrong I love all your understandings and description. It is just in real life I am not quite interested in marriage and tend to hold a pessimistic attitude towards it. But those happiness conveyed by your beautiful words touch me and I am curious what exactly leads to your views about them :)

Hi there!

Firstly, thank you for the compliment. I’m glad that anything I may write could touch you.

Secondly, I usually think I’m pretty open regarding my writing, but I’m going to give you the long answer to your question. (I’m not Ramblin’ Rose for nothing, LOL!)

I am not married. I have never been married, never want to be married, etc. I do not have, in real life, a wholly optimistic view of marriage. I also have no children. I am disabled and, therefore, cannot physically have children. However, I don’t really want children, either, and therefore haven’t adopted, etc.

That being said, the relationship/marriage/children world of bliss is my FAVORITE thing to write. I write it for all the couples that I ship. Even the couples who may not go the traditional route of building their family, still go on this family building adventure.

I wish I had some great and amazing response for you as to why. Probably, there’s some psychological interest there with things that I don’t/will not (by choice or otherwise) ever have in life. Mostly, though, it’s that I simply ENJOY writing these things. I enjoy the feelings, emotions, character development, etc. that they bring. I enjoy the happiness and warmth. And, let’s face it, life is hard and dark sometimes. I enjoy the happy little mental chemicals that I get from their happiness—and from sharing that happiness with anyone who wants to read it and join me in feeling that happiness.

There’s a bit more to it, as well, that kind of goes back to bad interactions with people in my past and my own life. I’ve always loved writing about these things (I also write non-fandom things), and I saw no particular reason to change it. I’m a Caryl OG, so I’ve been here forever. In the beginning, there were some people who kind of backlashed against me for doing the same types of things all the time. There are some who have thought that, because they didn’t care for it, I wasn’t allowed to care for it. There are people who refuse to read anything I’ve written (which is totally their choice, of course) because they don’t like the themes (also valid), but who also think that they should tell me about it, and tell me how I could “write well” if only I wrote what they wanted.

I went through some stages where I listened to some of these people, particularly because of their involvement in my personal life, and I wrote some things that didn’t make me happy. I really ruined some stories (for myself) because I didn’t let them go the way that I wanted because I wanted to make other people happy. I put what others wanted above what I wanted and what made me happy and, then, when I realized a little about how their “guidance” for me wasn’t really because of any concern for me, I felt pretty bad about my “ruined” stories.

Now, I’m trying very hard to simply write what I enjoy. Few people enjoy what I enjoy, and I know that. I’m not one of the writers who have the droves of followers, or whatever, but the people who do read my stories and choose to interact with me enjoy what I enjoy. They are optimist, uplifting, and they are usually good friends with whom to connect. What’s more, they are made happy by the things that make me happy.

So, in the long of things (because the short wouldn’t work here), I write these things simply because the fiction of it and the imagination of it all makes me happy. Life is hard, sometimes, and the world can be a pretty dark place. We have to find happiness and joy where we can. I love writing and sharing. I love connecting with the people that read my work. I love making them happy, in some little way, when I can. I love the happiness that I find from writing, and the family/marriage/baby stories make me happiest of all.

And, of course, I’m not trying to change anyone’s views on reality. This is just idealized fiction. I do hope, however, that you find some happiness when you read it!

Thank you, again! I hope this has answered your question a little, and do feel free to come off anon, if you’re ever in the mood, and send me a chat! (I’m also sorry for all the probable typos, but I don’t have time to correct everything right now!)

[beeroses]

I’ll take the lot

FanFic Friday are starting to feel more like FanFic Mondays... sorry for the delays! Your picture inspired stuff @rebelwrites, and apparently, a lot of stuff..!! So here’s a whole lot of Bishop fluff thrown at all of you! If you wanna be added to the taglist, please holler, I’ll be glad to!

Warnings : Pet names are female (Querida, Reina) but no other descriptions made, slight language warning, Angel’s still a douchebag, sorry, it’s a theme I guess..!

Gif credits to gif maker, Mayans credit to Mayans makers

- So, Querida, what do you think?

- This is absolutely beautiful, Obispo, I just think it’s really funny that out of everywhere in the State you could’ve chosen, you went for San Luis Obispo County, you answered!

- Ahh come on Querida, I chose the Moonstone Beach not Obispo County, don’t laugh!!! I chose this place because I’ve heard you get to see the most beautiful sunsets in the country, here.

- Have you gotten soft, Presidente? you asked, smirking.

- No I haven’t, he coughed slightly and then you heard him mumble : it’s just really hard to find a place more beautiful than you…

You smiled to yourself, the man was pretty damn near perfect. You’ve had ups and downs, things had gotten crazy with the club then had calmed down, but whatever was going on around, your beautiful boyfriend made sure to spend time with you, to take you out and to go away with you. He never once put you aside deliberately and always included you in every aspect of his life. Crazy lives you two were living, but you wouldn’t have changed it for the world.

- I love you, Obispo, and I love this place, you smiled.

He took your hands in his and smiled, looking out in the distance. He looked deep in thought but when didn’t he? You enjoyed the breeze coming from the ocean as you kept looking at the horizon. He was right, this place was absolutely breathtaking. You knew he had something on his mind because he kept fidgeting with his fingers and yours, while holding hands. You never wanted to pry and sometimes, things were just better the less you knew, but after a while in absolute silence, you got a little bit nervous.

- Is everything ok, Cariño ?

He almost jumped out of his skin at the sound of your voice. Very, very deep in thoughts, indeed.

- I’m sorry Querida, I spaced out.

- Yeah, I noticed… Anything you wanna talk about? you tried.

- Actually, yeah, I think I should. Looks like the perfect time to…

His words trailed off when the both of you heard :

- HEY PREZ!

- You’ve GOT to be kidding me…

You looked over Bishop’s shoulder only to see the Reyes brothers coming your way, rapidly. Angel having cotton candy in his hands, EZ carrying his childish smile around like a trophy for the best brushed teeth in the entire universe. Bishop looked annoyed to no end.

- Hey Prez, what a pleasure! Out of everyplace you could’ve gone to for your day off, we come to the same one! Angel said, excited by the coincidence and clearly not reading the room.

- Out of Every. Goddamn. Places. Bishop mumbles.

The Reyes brothers invite the two of you to spend the rest of the evening together and you both accept, even though you feel like Bishop is long gone in his head again. Although you loved Abbott and Costello to absolutely no end, you were almost mad at the unexpected meet.

*****************************************************************************************************

It both always bothered you and never did, the fact that, as Presidente, Obispo rarely had time off. You managed with the time you had, the evenings when he left early, the lazy Sundays, he would allow himself, sometimes, the lunches he’d bring at your job so you could eat together. Therefore, it took a couple of weeks until he got a full weekend off. You had decided to go North a little and settle for a more deserted destination, near the Joshua Tree National Park. You knew, for a fact, that whatever Bishop wanted and felt ready to share with you hadn’t left his thoughts yet. You had seen the wrinkles on his forehead, the ones he only got when he was deeply worried about something. It stuck from the second he got interrupted by the impossible comedic duo up until you settled in your room, feet away from the park.

- Wow, you’re going all out, Obispo! you teased.

- Well, I try to make it right to mi Reina.

- You know you don’t have to pull all the stops, like this! I’m very happy at the littlest things, you know that!

- I do, he said, pulling you in his arms, but I really want this to be perfect, just like you, he whispered in you ear.

The day went on nicely, you brought yourself a picnic to enjoy while enjoying the beauty and peace of the park. Everything was going absolutely perfectly. Towards the evening, Bishop pushed an outfit towards you, something a little more fancy than you had thought but, what the hell, if your man wanted you wearing that outfit, you’d obliged, especially since the frown had seem to disappear along the day. You walked out of the bathroom and saw Obispo look at you, almost stunned, something very deer-in-the-middle-of-traffic, like. You could’ve almost sworn you saw the man blush. But he turned his head, making sure he had everything, mumbling how gorgeous you were, almost more to himself than to you. You saw him fumble with the hotel key, his keys, his wallet, and stumbled on his own feet. He looked like a baby animal just learning to deal with it’s legs. You laughed at his sudden awkwardness.

- You ok there, El Presidente? you asked, a smirk stapled on our face.

- I’m fine, of course, yes, I’m fine. You look stunning, Querida, did I tell you?

- Not directly, but the fact you don’t remember how to use your legs correctly said it for you… you laughed. Come here.

You pulled him towards you and made him face you.

- Will you finally tell me what’s going on with you? You’ve been so.. distant, in your head, lately.

- Yeah, I will, I promise.

- Tonight?

- Tonight, he agreed.

You left, hand in hand, and walked to a car Obispo had ordered to take you to a gorgeous restaurant, which had a beautiful terrace. You sat at your table and ordered drinks. Obispo kept your hand in his at all time. You could sense he was ready to talk about whatever’s been troubling him over the past couple of weeks.

- So, Querida, after everything we’ve been through, you know, it’s nice to be able to get away, like this, just us, he said, running his thumb on the top of your hand.

- It’s.. you started.

- PRIMO! Alvarez said, just walking in with his wife and coming towards you. What are the odds, my man?

- I’d say pretty good, lately… Bishop stated.

Alvarez and his wife took a seat at the table next to you and chatted you guys all night. You came back very late at the hotel and knew the moment was gone. Again. Early the next morning, Bishop received a phone call from Taza and you guys had to cut your trip short, putting an axe, once again, on that long overdue conversation.

*****************************************************************************************************

You got woken up by Obispo travelling back and forth across the room, grabbing clothes and throwing them in a duffle bag.

- You going on a run? you asked him, surprised as he hadn’t told you about it.

- No, we are, he answered.

- I’m sorry, who?

- You and me. We’re going away. Right now.

- But…

- No buts, Querida, let’s go!

The two of you left, at the crack of dawn, on his motorcycle, for somewhere only he knew. You drove for a while and stopped along the beach, where a beautiful boardwalk pushed into the ocean. Bishop took your hand in his and pulled you towards the furthest part of the walk, the one that pushed the furthest into the great Blue. You leaned on the railway to look further into the sea. The lightning of the morning sun making the water look like it was filled with diamonds. Everything about the scenery was absolutely breathtaking.

- Bish, what are we doing here? you asked, blown away.

- I wanted to find someplace special, since I think we’re long overdue to talk, you and me, he said.

- You didn’t have to kidnap me, you know, you said, smirk on display on your features.

- Pff, if I’d kidnapped you, you’d know, trust me, he winked.

You looked at the sea a little more and turned fully around to give your full attention to the man in front of you.

- So, Querida, I’ve been so lucky to have you stand by me through the years, you’ve been nothing but my…

- Bish, HEY, BISH!

- You’re FUCKING KIDDING ME. WHAT? Obispo asked, turning towards the voice. There stood half the Mayans. Gilly, Coco, Angel and EZ, on their motorcycles.

- What are you doing here, Prez, Gilly asked, isn’t there Templo in an hour?

- Yeah, I fell off that girl’s bed to be there in time, why are you here ? Angel asked.

- Do you even remember her name? EZ asked his brother.

- I don’t think she ever told me, Angel said smugly.

- WILL YOU JUST FUCKING SHUT UP? CAN’T A MAN ASK HIS GIRLFRIEND TO MARRY HIM, ROMANTICALLY, WITHOUT BEING INTERRUPTED EVERY SINGLE TIME? Bishop screamed at his brothers.

Then fell silence. The boys looked sheepishly at the pavement, gathering up excuses to run away as fast and far as they could. You looked absolutely stunned. Bishop looked enraged.

- Is that… Is it… It that what’s been bothering you, lately? you asked, wild eyed, tears welling up quickly to blur your vision.

Obispo just then realized your presence and how badly it went. He’d been trying to find a way, a place, a setting, everything to make sure it was the most romantic engagement, for his Reina and it ended being the worst possible way.

- It wasn’t bothering me… I just… he sighed deeply, I really wanted this to be perfect, you know.

- I didn’t choose you because you’re perfect, Obispo. I chose you because you’re you.

- Hopefully you also chose me because of my impatience and the fact I cannot, for the life of me, get rid of these punkasses.

- Like I said, I chose you because you’re you. And if you come with impatience, tantrums and those douchebags, then I’ll take the lot.

- Are you saying yes? Obispo asked, hopeful.

- Por supuesto, diciendo que si, mi Amor!!

Bishop took you in his strong arms and pulled you to his chest. The kiss you got was quite possibly the most passionate you’ve ever shared. The boys clapped and cheered, Gilly wolfwhistled and got a death stare from Bishop, therefore stopped immediately.

- Hey, just for the record, I never said I pulled tantrums, Bishop said, squinting at you.

- I said what I said, you winked as you felt him push the ring on your finger, squeezing your hand in his, lovingly.

@chibsytelford​ @yosoynicolexo @lovebishoplosamiguelgalindo​

[aphrostarot]

Love Pick a Pile

What are the thoughts, feelings, and intentions of the person you are thinking of?

Remember that this is a general reading and some things may not apply to you. Do not try and force it to fit. If you would like a personal reading I am currently offering free readings. Dm me if you are interested!

Pile One (Amethyst):

What are their thoughts?

The Fool:

The Fool represents beginnings and being excited about newness. Based on the energy of the person you are thinking of, I get the feeling that you do not know this person personally. You may have only met this person a couple of times, but you are not close to them. This person wants to start a relationship with you and they are very excited about it.

King of Swords:

The King is overly analytical. They think with their heads and not with their hearts. This person believes that you are this person. They perceive you as being non-emotional and preferring facts over anything else. Despite the fact you may think this isn't you, this is just what they think of you, so it may not be accurate because you don't really know them very well.

The Wheel of Fortune:

As the card of fortune, it is often regarded as the card of destiny. Your person thinks that it was fate that the two of you met. They view you as their person, their soulmate, the one they have spent lifetimes with.

The Acid Queen:

Changes in viewpoints and epiphanies are associated with the Acid Queen. When you're together, your person believes you'll change their perspective on life and love. It is also possible that you have already changed their perspective. They may have had an epiphany when you met because they have gone most of their life thinking they don’t have a soulmate and then they met you and everything clicked.

What are their feelings?

King of Cups:

They are very tuned into what you feel, what you want, and what you need. They are extremely devoted to you, almost to a fault. They would do anything for you. They genuinely care about you.

Nine of Swords:

Currently, they are feeling pretty insecure. They feel like their feelings are not reciprocated by you and this upsets them. As if they are not someone you would ever like and that you will never like them. You may need to let them know how you feel if you have feelings for them.

Death:

When it comes to feelings, this card usually symbolizes that they do not feel that way for you and that there is too much on their plate at the moment. But with all of the other cards coming out we know this to not be true. This card suggests that they feel that you are this person. That you do not have feelings for them and that you are too busy to start a relationship.

The Mystic:

When the Mystic comes out in a reading it is telling you that you are in control of something in your life. When it comes to this person’s feelings they are feeling that you are in control of what happens next in this connection. It is up to you what happens next. The ball is in your court.

What are their intentions?

Nine of Pentacles:

This is a card of serenity, of having accumulated so much abundance in your life and now being able to celebrate it. Your person wants a happy and abundant life with you.

The Lovers:

They want to be in a romantic relationship with you. The Lovers shows a happy and healthy relationship. You are their soulmate and they believe they can have the best kind of relationship with you.

Eight of Cups:

This card represents letting go of the past and creating a new future. This person wants to start over with you. They want to begin a new life with you because they see happiness in you.

The Coquette:

The card of flirtation, desire, and chemistry. There is chemistry between you and they want to pursue a relationship with you. They want to flirt with you and show you how great they think you are.

What is the short-term outcome? (the next few months)

Six of Wands:

Since this is a card of success, it indicates that you and this person will make great progress in your relationship within the next few months. There is some success coming your way soon.

What is the long-term outcome?

Queen of Pentacles:

You will enjoy a homely life and family with this person in the future. This is a good sign if this is what you desire. You will be together for a long time.

Pile Two (Sodalite):

What are their thoughts?

The Fool:

The Fool represents beginnings and being excited about newness. From the energy of the person you are thinking of, I get the feeling you do not know this person. You have been manifesting this person into your life, and they feel your energy. They are excited to meet you and to start something with you because they can feel your energy and they love it.

Queen of Wands:

Passion and ambition characterize the Queen of Wands. They are quite friendly and extroverted. They are extremely social and spread happiness and joy wherever they go. A high sense of self-worth is also present, and they would never allow anyone to belittle them. They strive to succeed in their careers and will not give up until they do. This is how your person thinks of you, and they love it.

The Empress:

Empresses are people who are very warm, loving, sensual, and beautiful. They are extremely intelligent and creative. In addition, they make great parents and nurturers. Another reason why your person loves you is because they think of you as this type of person.

The Siren:

They think of you as a siren, minus the part of leading men to their deaths. They think of you as desirable. It's as if you're a magnet to them; they can't resist you.

What are their feelings?

Knight of Wands:

This is a very sexual card. You are very desirable to this person, they lust after you. It is important to note that this card does not indicate romantic feelings, but purely physical.

Three of Wands:

This card doesn’t point to any particular feelings. It does however say that their feelings will be revealed to you soon. So do not worry.

Five of Wands:

Based on the energy I am receiving from this person I would say that they feel like they have to fight really hard for your attention. They do not want to give up but, they do feel like it is a battle to get to you.

The Alien:

The Alien shows that there is an interest in you from an unknown force. Since this person can feel your energy, they know that they want to be with you. They will do whatever it takes to get to you, to be in a relationship with you.

What are their intentions?

Knight of Pentacles:

It is common for pentacles suits to want to get married and settle down. As this person is represented by the Knight, this means they are not in this position yet, but they hope to be soon. Knight of Pentacles is the slowest moving court card, so, yes, they want that commitment, but they do not wish to rush it. Therefore, they will take it slow with you.

Knight of Cups:

They plan to be completely devoted to you. They want to do all sorts of romantic things with you, they want to be your prince charming. They want to sweep you off your feet.

The Lovers:

The Lovers show a very harmonious relationship, complete with attraction and perfection. The relationship is based on deep love and trust, which allows you to overcome obstacles together. This person wants this with you.

The Courtesan:

Courtship and luxury are the themes of this card. You will be treated like a king or queen by this person. A Pride and Prejudice-style courtship is planned. They want the longing looks, the touching of the fingertips that leads to a happy ending.

What is the short-term outcome? (the next few months)

Three of Pentacles:

As this is the card of learning, you will learn more about this person during the next few months of this relationship. There doesn't seem to be any meetings in the near future, but you'll learn more about them and their energy.

What is the long-term outcome?

Judgment:

This is a card of making decisions, so it indicates that something will happen that will take your relationship to the next level. The energy of this pile feels very strong, but from a timeline perspective, it doesn't appear like there will be much progress for a while. Spirit wants you to know that something will happen, but not right away.

Pile Three (Rose Quartz):

What are their thoughts?

The Emperor:

You are viewed as the Emperor by this person. They view you as someone who is in authority and enjoys being in authority. A person who likes to be in control. They think you have gained the respect of the people around you and that you are a great leader.

The Moon:

This card depicts deception, or not being able to see things clearly. There is strong Pisces energy with this person, maybe a Pisces moon or Pisces Venus. You are idolized by them, and they don't see you for who you really are. They overlook your flaws and only see the positive aspects of you.

Six of Cups:

This is a soulmate card. They consider you to be their soulmate. You have spent lifetimes together, and you'll likely spend many more with them. Based on the energy I am receiving for this pile, it feels that you already know this person and may already be in a relationship with them.

The Alien:

The Alien symbolizes someone who is curious and loves to travel. They see you as a very curious person, particularly in regards to the unknown. They think that you love to travel especially to places that you can learn things.

What are their feelings?

King of Swords:

Feelings are not important to this King. They would rather look at the facts than their feelings. In this relationship, they are not feeling with their heart, but instead are thinking with their head.

King of Pentacles:

They want to be your provider. They want to be the ones who pay for your dates and open doors for you. Their feelings for you revolve around their need to be a caretaker and they want to be yours.

The Hanged Man:

They are wondering where they stand with you. As a result, they are beginning to doubt whether you want a relationship with them.

The Final Girl:

The Final Girl is the woman who is left standing in spite of having been through so much in her life. Your person feels that you are this person. They think that you are extremely strong and worth fighting for.

What are their intentions?

The Lovers:

The Lovers show a very harmonious relationship, complete with attraction and perfection. The relationship is based on deep love and trust, which allows you to overcome obstacles together. This person wants this with you.

Three of Pentacles:

They want to know more about you and spend more time with you. It is only by spending more time with you and finding out more about you that they will be able to learn how you feel about them and if you think you are compatible.

Ten of Pentacles:

They want to settle down and start a family with you. They want to have an abundant life with you and they want you to be happy with them and their abundance. With the pentacles coming out so much I would say that this person definitely wants to provide for you and be your caretaker. They want to make you happy and they think that providing for you will do that.

The Headmistress:

The Headmistress is in charge, usually of young girls who fear her. This person wants to be in charge of you, they want you to rely on them. They see you as someone who has been in charge for so long and now they think you need a break and they want to be able to give you that break.

What is the short-term outcome? (the next few months)

Four of Wands:

Stability is represented by this card. Spirit says that for the next few months, your relationship will be stable. No problems will arise, so don't worry.

What is the long-term outcome?

King of Cups:

When this card shows a future outcome, it signifies a marriage. In the future, you and this person will get married, as predicted by the spirit. This isn’t happening anytime soon but it is something to look forward to.

Pile Four (Amazonite):

What are their thoughts?

Page of Pentacles:

This is the card of being a student but not having the right amount of resources to pursue what they want. Your person thinks of you as this type of person. They see you as passionate and driven but also lacking the finances to do what they want.

The Magician:

In the same way that you have manifested this person into your life, they have also manifested you. Despite the fact that I do not believe you know this person personally, I do believe you have met this person before. They perceive you as someone who can fulfill all their desires, which is why they are manifesting a relationship with you.

Three of Swords:

They see you as someone who has been through a lot, especially heartache. They think that you are so used to pain that you seek out pain because you don't feel comfortable in a relationship that doesn't hurt. They want to help you heal. They want to show you what true love is. Remember that this is how they perceive you, it doesn’t have to mean they are correct.

The Spinster:

Spinsters have been alone their entire lives, and they prefer it that way. Some view them as the person you don't want to become because they are alone. Due to the amount of hurt you have endured, this person perceives you as someone who prefers to be alone. They want you to heal. They believe they can help you accomplish this.

What are their feelings?

Nine of Pentacles:

A traditional relationship is what this card represents when it comes to feelings. Traditional gender roles are what they want.

Eight of Swords:

They do not like to be tied down, especially to someone who they feel is out to hurt them. They fear that you will hurt them and that you will treat them as just another person who isn't worth the fight, based on how they perceive you and your past relationships.

Four of Cups:

They worry that you will become bored with them. They think you will leave them, and this makes them nervous. Because they feel like you would never pursue someone like them, they are very insecure, especially when it comes to you.

The Muse:

You motivate them to be better and strive for better. They feel like they can help you and inspire you too. They feel like they can inspire you to do better and to strive for better. They feel like they are just the person you need, to help you heal.

What are their intentions?

Seven of Wands:

They see you as the person who has gone through a lot. They may even think that you have mommy/daddy issues. Because of this, they think that trouble follows you wherever you go. They intend to help you heal, so you won’t face as much trouble when you’re with them.

Judgment:

They have their mind made up. They want to save you and they will do whatever it takes to help you.

The Lovers:

The Lovers show a very harmonious relationship, complete with attraction and perfection. The relationship is based on deep love and trust, which allows you to overcome obstacles together. This person wants this with you. They want to show you what real love is and what it feels like.

The Courtesan:

Courtship and luxury are the themes of this card. You will be treated like a king or queen by this person. A Pride and Prejudice-style courtship is planned. They want the longing looks, the touching of the fingertips that leads to a happy ending.

What is the short-term outcome? (the next few months)

The Moon:

Moon knows the future, but it won't tell you. It tells you to keep going on the path you are on, and the truth will be revealed in time. Your Spirit Guides do not want you to know how the near future will be for you and this person.

What is the long-term outcome?

The Emperor:

The future you share with this person is set to last a lifetime. Your relationship will be very strong. One that holds a lot of power, be it in society or in your friend groups.

Though tips are not required, they are very much appreciated. Thank you! Venmo: @ aphrostarot Paypal: paypal/aphrostarot

[lesbiancarat]

sadlkjfa;sdfj it's ok! i actually would have been really interested to hear your thoughts on the dichotomy of dark vs cute concepts. i also believe that ppl have a weird obsession with very clear cut, distinct concepts. but at the same time these concepts can be a bit boring as we start seeing the same ones over and over again? it's not that i dislike them, it's just that i'd love to see much more creative concepts!

also that weird thing of dark concepts have to be dark and cute concepts have to be cute is reductive and doesn't allow for more nuanced concepts! for example, some people were shocked about onf's beautiful beautiful bc they expected a darker song to match the cyberpunk theme of the mv, but i wasn't? idk this is starting to get kinda long asdjfkl;

dfkjh mostly i was just going to say that i feel like there's a number of kpop stans that only classify songs as either "dark" or "cute/fresh", leaving no room for songs that don't fit in either category. i feel like most people who think this way have self-prescribed themselves as a die-hard fan of one concept or the other, and therefore any song that doesn't fit into that concept/genre they like must belong to the other category (people probably don't think this explicitly, but more that its a subconscious thing that comes up in the way i see some people talk about songs)

for example, pre-fear era there were a lot of carats wanting a dark concept, and some of those people (definitely not all) advocated for it by saying things like "svt are grown now, they need to stop doing cute concepts all the time". which like, completely ignored the fact that dwc/home/thanks/clap are all songs that, while not dark, are far from cute. and it makes a false assumption that for a concept to be "mature" or "grown" it has to be dark and sexy, which imo is not the case

but yeah i also love to see variety and creativity when it comes to concepts. i think when there's variety in the industry, that's when the most people are happy, because everyone gets something they want. i think variety also helps people appreciate other concepts and genres outside of their comfort zone. like, if you're a fan of really dark, loud edm, concepts you can probably still appreciate cute bubblegum pop every once in a while. but if bubblegum pop is the current trend u might start getting annoyed bc you feel like you can't avoid it

that being said though, i feel like a variety of concepts within a certain group can be tricky. there's a certain extent you can switch things up and still stay within the groups brand, but straying too far from the concept that drew most fans in in the first place is bound to be controversial. for example weeekly's recent comeback or svt's fear. it baffles me that people are surprised that others don't like those songs--they're both groups that built they're fanbase with fresh concepts, of course there are going to be a lot of fans that don't like darker concepts. if they did they'd probably be stanning different groups. and like, to be clear i'm not saying those songs are bad or they shouldn't have been released. ultimately its up to the group/company to release whatever they want. but there has to be the understanding that an extreme concept change up will always be controversial, and it may lose fans, even if it gains others

i also totally get what you're saying about nuanced concepts. like bubblegum pop with bright colors and flowers and heavy edm with grungy city aesthetics aren't the only concepts to exist! like there are so many more interesting things that can and have been done! certain visual aesthetics aren't relegated to one type of music!! i feel like i had a similar experience in the last year or so of ppl not feeling like a song fit the concept aesthetic but i didn't see the problem. can't for the life of me remember what it is though lol, but i definitely feel your frustration dfkgh

[holycatsandrabbits]

Tollense, an original serial romance by Dannye Chase, Chapter 4

A history professor falls in love with his best friend, a 3000-year-old vampire.

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Chapter 4

1997 (One year later)

The convention center had been beautiful under the blue Minnesota sky when Liam had arrived, and it was still beautiful now with its windows backed by heavy showers of falling snow that threw diffuse, moving light onto the walls inside the conference room. Beautiful and alarming.

Liam’s university was located in Florida. Florida was quite nice in January, and besides, there were theme parks. Didn’t people always like theme parks? But instead, the conference was being held in Minnesota, and this was the final day. In an hour, Liam and his colleagues, other faculty of the history department, were supposed to start the twenty-some-hour drive home.

“Could have been at Disney World,” Kurt remarked, startling Liam. Liam had been too busy watching the storm to realize Kurt had come up beside him.

“What on earth?” Liam asked, quite rightfully surprised, not by Kurt’s sudden unexpected presence, as he was used to that by now, but because Kurt was not a history professor, and therefore didn’t have a reason to be at the conference.

“Thought I’d drop in,” Kurt said. “See how things were going. Anyone interested in your research on Tollense?”

“Everyone. It’s very exciting.” Liam kept his voice low. “Am I talking to myself, or can everyone else see you?”

Kurt smiled at him. “I wouldn’t give you that kind of reputation. I’m visible.” Liam could see it was true, as Kurt’s good looks were attracting a few appreciative glances. “Are you ready to come home?” Kurt asked.

“Yes, we’re due to head out soon. Not that we’re really looking forward to it.”

“Well, your co-workers can head out whenever they like. I’m taking you home.”

“What?”

Kurt looked surprised by Liam’s surprise. “You’re from Florida. You have no idea what to do with snow. They’re pulling locals off the roads, Liam. I'm not letting you drive in this weather.”

“But you don’t even know how to dr— wait.” Liam felt a bit of a shiver crawl up his spine. “Oh, no. I’m not teleporting home.”

“I’ve been doing it for thousands of years. With humans. You know that. It’s perfectly safe.”

“No.”

Now a bit of hurt flashed over Kurt’s features, and like all his dark expressions, it was vaguely unsettling. “You don’t trust me?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I just don’t want to teleport.”

“Why on earth not?”

Liam hated to lie to Kurt. Partly, it was because Liam was not entirely sure that Kurt couldn’t somehow tell that he was lying. Kurt claimed that he couldn’t read minds, but he was a vampire who could teleport himself from Florida to Minnesota, and Liam would not have been at all surprised to find that Kurt was aware of the snowstorm confronting Liam without having checked the weather.

But it was also true that Kurt was Liam’s best friend and it seemed wrong to lie to him. Except Liam couldn’t tell him the truth about this, because that wasn’t going to help anyone. It was better if Kurt didn’t know that Liam was in love with him, that for over a year now, Liam had been obsessed with the memory of Kurt kissing him, slow and sweet, and that the last thing Liam needed now was for Kurt to pull him close and show off his impressive supernatural abilities in a rescue. Kurt had made it clear that he never allowed himself to fall in love with humans that he met, and Liam had to be protective of his heart, already cracked and in danger of breaking.

“Look, if you are so dead-set on it, you can use your mind-control powers to convince me,” Liam joked, and immediately realized that was worse than lying, because Kurt flinched.

“If I do that,” Kurt said, in what sounded like a carefully controlled voice, “I will lose you anyway.”

“Wh— you’re not going to lose me. I’ll get a hotel, then. Drive home later.”

“I don’t want you driving to a hotel!” Kurt looked exasperated. “Liam, you are the most adventurous person I know. Why not this?”

“Oh, I’m hardly—”

“Yes, you are. You’re like an explorer, always hungry for something new and unusual. You’re brave, and not terribly cautious, which is bad for your driving habits, but it’s perfectly safe when it comes to me, because I am never going to let anything happen to you.”

Kurt had stepped close, and Liam could tell how upset Kurt was because Kurt was losing his grip on the human appearance and mannerisms he tried to put on. Right now he looked sleek and strong and shadowy. He didn’t reach for Liam with his hands, but Liam could feel something surrounding him, like a faint cool mist. It felt oddly familiar, and Liam got the impression that the mist might actually always be there, a piece of Kurt holding onto him, and Liam had just never been consciously aware of it before.

And then everything suddenly snapped back into place: Kurt looked ordinary again, and Liam realized with a shock that a couple of his colleagues had approached them.

“What do you think?” asked one of them. “We’re talking about getting a hotel.”

“I have a ride home,” Liam said faintly. Everyone looked at him in surprise, including Kurt. Few of Liam’s fellow faculty had met Kurt, partly by Kurt’s design, because he wasn’t terribly social, and partly by Liam’s. Liam was aware that his very close friendship with a very handsome man was likely to give him a certain other reputation, one that was quite deserved (though sadly not much practiced), but not very wise in the current political climate.

Nothing for it now. “Chris Mullens, Doris Sullivan, this is my friend Kurt, ah, Smith. He was in town for something else and is heading back to Florida today. He offered me a ride.”

“Is it safe?” Doris asked, looking concerned.

“Kurt’s a very good driver. Got a— a car like a tank.”

Doris laid a hand on Liam’s shoulder, and to Liam’s surprise, Kurt seemed to bristle at that, almost literally, and the whole room seemed to go with him, the air around them feeling oddly sharp. Liam understood that Kurt was concerned that he’d change his mind and be convinced to travel with his colleagues, but it undoubtedly looked like something else from the outside— a sort of possessiveness.

“What a nice friend,” Chris said lightly, looking at Kurt in a way that Liam did not like at all, as if Kurt was not a person but a problem, not a good-looking man but a tempting trap. Liam’s personal belief was that men who were so vehemently opposed to homosexuality were probably terrified that they themselves might be vulnerable to such a “trap,” but it was better if that went unsaid.

Kurt rescued him, of course. “Yes, Liam and I have been friends for a while. I used to date one of his students, Martina.”

Chris’s face cleared a bit, losing some of its distaste. He had apparently not heard of bisexuality, or whatever word might describe Kurt. “Oh. Sure.”

“Ready to go?” Kurt asked Liam. He barely waited for an answer before steering Liam out of the room. They walked down an empty hallway where the storm winds were pushing hard enough to make the windows shift in their frames. Kurt spoke in a gentle voice. “Give it a few years. The world is becoming more tolerant again. Humans keep discovering their natures over and over.”

“This must all be very trite to you.”

“Not in the least.” Kurt’s eyes were sharp on him. “Do you think Chris is the one sending you those threatening letters?”

Liam scoffed. “He barely knows how to tie his shoes. Worse than even the typical history professor.”

Kurt looked unconvinced. “I’ll keep an eye on him all the same.” He held out a hand to Liam. “Let’s go home.”

Liam looked down at Kurt’s hand. A pale blue vein ran delicately along his wrist, and Liam wondered what flowed there, if anything. “What about my luggage?”

“I already picked it up from Dr. Sullivan’s car. It’s at your place.”

“You’re awfully confident that I’d say yes to this.”

Kurt sighed, exasperated. “I can’t believe you haven’t asked me sooner. I thought I’d be taking you to the Louvre every weekend. Or Rome. At least Antietam.”

Liam laughed. “I should have.”

Kurt smiled, looking at ease for the first time since he’d arrived. “You should.”

“Next weekend then.” Liam finally took Kurt’s hand, and their fingers fit together easily. As always, Kurt was slightly cool to the touch.

The convention center faded away into a sort of bland white light. Liam felt like he was floating, but still with his feet planted on the ground. He looked down and found his own office floor beneath his shoes.

“Stay still a moment,” Kurt warned. “People can get dizzy when they’re not used to it.” He dropped Liam’s grasp and put a steadying hand on his arm instead. And now was the moment Liam had dreaded: Kurt was so close, so strong, and so hauntingly strange.

“We must seem so very fragile to you,” Liam said.

“You are fragile.” There was a harsh coldness in Kurt’s voice.

“So how did you learn to do that? To teleport?”

Kurt shrugged. “Just always could.”

“Always?” Liam frowned. “I thought a vampire’s abilities were based on age.”

“They are.”

“But if you’ve been doing it as long as you can remember— since at least Tollense— doesn’t it follow then that your origins would have to be a great deal older than that?”

Kurt narrowed his eyes, considering.

“Or else,” Liam said, “maybe you’re not a vampire.”

“I drink blood.”

“A lot of creatures— uh, beings— are said to drink blood. I’m sorry, it must be so frustrating not to be able to remember.”

Kurt looked at him with a sort of gratitude, but then he turned away, toward the door. A second later, there was a knock, and Kurt finally let go of Liam’s arm.

It was one of Liam’s graduate students at the door, Jonah. “Hey,” he said. “Hope I’m not interrupting anything. Just have a couple of questions. I thought I heard you talking. Do you have company?”

Most of the students never met Kurt either, despite the fact that he was around quite a bit. Liam had learned by now that Kurt only appeared to those students he thought he might start a relationship with. Kurt had been alone since Martina had graduated, and Liam assumed it would only be a matter of time before he picked another student, someone to provide him with blood and share his bed. In between lovers, Kurt drank blood from animals, but he had told Liam that it was much better to have a human source. Kurt chose those people whom he thought would be open to the idea of a finite relationship with a vampire, those who wouldn’t be afraid of him but also wouldn’t want to stay with him indefinitely. Because Kurt never got attached.

“Let’s find out,” Liam said, and opened the door wider. His heart sank immediately when he saw that Jonah could see Kurt standing by the desk. Liam thought back for a moment to Kurt’s reaction when Doris put her hand on Liam’s arm. But Kurt wouldn’t get jealous, of course.

Liam definitely was.

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Updates Fridays on Ao3 and DannyeChase.com (rated E), and Tumblr (rated T)

Want to create fic, art, or other works based on this series? Please do! Just dm or tag me.

My previous serials are for Good Omens: Mr. Fell's Bookshop and Love's Endless Light

My Carrd

[ciaran-archive]

Serious question. How do you write long stories? Is there a technique or advice for that? No matter what story I have in mind, I can't seem to tell it in anything longer than 1 to 2k. Writing 5k is tiring already, where do people seriously get that stamina to even do 50 or 100 or 200k? It's mind-blowingly amazing.

there is nothing less worthy or amazing about writing shorter fic - i know writers who struggle with it, and i’ve come to inhabit that position somewhat myself, though i’m determined to stay in practice. it’s a different skillset, that’s all. your fics aren’t worse for being shorter.

that said i will not deny that longer fics generate far more engagement from fandoms simply by virtue of updating more often  → being on top of the ao3 tag when people first open it  → getting more clicks and being considered less ‘frivolous’ (which is bullshit, but what can you do)

if you’re dead sure you want to write longer fic, i would first recommend reading this post about writing drabbles, which i promise is relevant to the point i’m about to make.

Because drabbles are about one moment. You don't need to know exactly what happened before this moment of dialogue, or what happens next, or what's happening around it. You don't have to do any of the planning you might do for a longer fic, but you also don't have the space to let the scene lead in and develop naturally. You've got 100 words.

a lot of writing a longer story is about establishing the scope of your story, deciding what beats you want to hit. there are a lot of ways to go about this; [some people like to outline. i don’t outline, ever, so if you want help for outlining you should look at the other sources on the internet. there are quite a few.] i’m going to talk about the way i’ve learnt to do it.

so when i’m writing a short fic, the thing i’m considering is one or two ideas, and one or two moments (short in this case being under 5k). this also depends on the style i’m going for - fics with sparser styles can fit more scenes, if i’m going for my usual style, each scene takes about 700-2000 words at least and therefore takes up more space. a lot of how i eased into writing longer fics was focusing on stylistic changes - you can push up the word count of a fic by going moment by moment. note the difference between: 

They’d been standing next to each other as they spoke; now Felix turned to him in the rain, startled by the admission of weakness. He reached out clumsily, bumping his hand against Ryan’s until he took the hint and grabbed on.

and 

The rain made it near-impossible to hear Ryan speaking, but the harshness in his voice would’ve been audible through a hurricane. “So you ran away,” he said, like he hadn’t expected this. 

“Course I did,” Felix snapped. “What was I supposed to do? Stick it out and let her kill me?” I almost did, he added under his breath.

Ryan’s sensitive werewolf ears, of course, caught that. “I’m glad you did,” he amended, as though it pained him to admit it. “I would’ve - I did the same. It’s all you can do, sometimes.”

Felix turned to him, blinking through the curtains of water. Ryan was slouching in the downpour, eyes narrowed elsewhere. Mostly he was startled by the admission of weakness - rare in a person who prided himself so thoroughly on being reliable and independent. He reached out, struck by the urge to offer whatever clumsy comfort he was capable of; his hand bumped against Ryan’s, and he held it there until Ryan caught up and wove their fingers together. 

His hands were wet and cold, and he gripped so hard Felix’s very human bones ached, but he wouldn’t have pulled away now. Not when he’d been the one to offer.

it’s not even that one is necessarily better than the other - they both work, and they’re working in different ways. they’re set in the same scene, conveying the same beat - reaching out to comfort someone in the wake of vulnerability. it’s just that one is longer, and therefore gives you more room to - set the scene (rain, being unable to hear each other) - use dialogue to show what is being told in the first example - convey extra information about the characters (actually, if this was a scene i was writing in a fic or novel, the stuff about ryan being a werewolf would already be known to the reader, so i would use that space to convey something else about ryan in that moment) - elaborate on felix’s internal state: the transition from defensive to curious/surprised to gentle - linger for a sentence or two on the moment of connection

this is about unraveling a scene and making it bigger than it was, breaking it apart into tinier beats and describing each one in the narrative. what happens when you do that and your fic doesn’t get much bigger still?

back to scope! we understand, as people who read and write and live, that the part of a story that you choose to depict in a narrative is not the entire story: events happen off-screen. some of them happened before the story started, and they will continue to happen after the story ends. the narrative is only showing you an arc, a particular series of events. 

when you’re writing fic, you have in fact tremendous amounts of flexibility when it comes to the scope of a story. you can write something that is about a single moment in canon, and trust that your audience is following along because they have the context already. so you don’t need to waste time on setting it up, which often means - if you’re given to a certain kind of fic writing (canon compliant / small divergences / missing scenes / character studies) your fics will end up not being very long because you’re not reiterating what you don’t need to reiterate. your idea is small because it inhabits a small space, is squished between canon events, and so doesn’t ever get bigger. if this is what is happening, it’s good, and you should try to preserve this going forward. 

people who are writing longer fic are, simply, working with bigger ideas*. they’re not just going “what if he said what he wanted in this scene instead of going home?” and writing the bit where they kiss immediately after - they’re also going “what if this changed everything in the future? what happens if they tackle all their problems together from now on? what new problems arise from this?”

*hopefully they are working with bigger ideas. i have seen longfics that are just incredibly fucking tedious because the author swallowed a thesaurus and had a tenuous grasp on plotting to begin with. 

that’s for a canon divergent fic, presumably. you might also be writing a post-canon fic, with its own set of pre-fic events and a new set of problems to deal with. currently, for example, i’m writing a fic where akira and goro were dating after canon, broke up, and stayed together in a deeply dysfunctional way after that - and the consequences for them now that they’re forced to deal with the mess they’ve made of their lives, together and apart. so now they have to deal with: the catalyst for dealing with their old problems, which is a problem in itself, and their old problems, which have been festering for a really long time.

which forms the core of the scope i’m talking about. i have to go through a bunch of scenes to set this fic up - i need to show their old problems and their new problems, i need to explain why the old ones haven’t been dealt with already, i need to set up the potential for dealing with them and the necessity of doing so, i need to give them places to start, and also i want to allow them to fail so they can choose to start again. i know these things because i have some idea of the kind of story i want to tell. if i didn’t know this, my story would not go anywhere by itself, and i would have to start outlining scene by scene the way people who actually outline do it, and i hate doing that because then i never write. 

if you can outline and it doesn’t make you want to chew wood, then i highly recommend picking up the habit. it’s very useful, and the methodical approach is a fantastic failsafe for the moments when you (me) get stuck on your fic (breakup au) and have to stop writing for several weeks in order to figure out a single fucking plot point that will let you move forward and

anyway. 

so yeah! to sum up;

find a larger scope for your story

get in the habit of picking apart beats into discrete moments and guiding the narrative through them

learn to outline if you can

last thing - which is perhaps the most vital and least reliable - stamina. 

you WILL lose interest in half the longer fics you write. it WILL suck. if you think you know pain because you have 700 words of a fic and can’t get through the last 400, i promise you it is like that but much worse because you have 7000 words now, or 17000 words, and you are stuck with no way forward. it will suck so BAD. 

don’t beat yourself up over it. once you’re in the habit of writing something long, you will retain that habit, and be able to apply it elsewhere. the words aren’t wasted, they’re practice, and they’re worth what they’ve taught you.

but! all the scope and internal scene-building and outlines won’t help you if you do not (and this is not as bad as everyone makes it sound) actually write. you HAVE to learn to actually write. you have to figure out what you like about writing and make a longfic outline [/ scene beats notes chart / themes mind map / tumblr tag of inspiring quotes and photography] that consists entirely of stuff you love and then you have to sit down and write your fic. it is not terribly scary. it’s okay to fail, but you also have no way around this. 

i hope this helped, and good luck!

[loominggaia]

Somehow i missed this the first time but was Mr.Ocean really f#cking his soldiers in Troubled Tides? He's my favorite character so I'm hoping i misunderstood the writing. :( since they were high on drugs isn't that r#pe?

I totally understand your concern, Anon! I think this is going to be a matter of opinion, but personally, I don't think he was taking advantage of his dorikori soldiers--at least not sexually. If anything, they may have been taking advantage of him. I'll explain in a moment.

The whole theme of "Troubled Tides" centered around addiction and the loss of free will. I consider it the most poorly-written story in the Looming Gaia series, so if readers are having a hard time understanding what was going on there, I'm really not surprised. It's just bad and it needs to be re-written.

But basically here's what was going on: Mr. Ocean was infected with a fungus that made him secrete toxins through his skin. If he allowed the toxins to build up, it would get him high. But it could also get the dorikori high if enough of it touched their skin. This effect was addictive, and even more appealing to the dorikori was that being high also protected them from the undine's call.

The dorikori bathed with Mr. Ocean because his toxins infected the bathwater and got them high. But over time they built up a tolerance and demanded more toxin, so they started licking it right off his skin and having "sex" with him to get higher concentrations directly into their bodies. During this time, Mr. Ocean was just as high as they were, so it's really hard to say who was taking advantage of who here.

Cecaelia can't experience lust or sexual attraction because they breed without contact. Mr. Ocean has had sexual relationships and enjoys sexual activities regardless, and may or may not have consented to whatever the dorikori were doing to him. When both parties are inebriated, it's pretty up in the air.

I personally wouldn't say he raped anyone. But that isn't to say he's 100% innocent, because he was up to some other seriously heinous shit in that story. He abused his soldiers mentally by getting them hooked on his toxins and enthralling them to fight his battles. That's really not much different than what Sovereign is doing. Mr. Ocean even admitted that he knew it was addictive and he bathed with them anyway to get them hooked, because he was afraid of losing their loyalty otherwise. That's selfish, fucked up, and downright dastardly if you ask me.

You could argue that Mr. Ocean is just a victim of Roach, who kept encouraging him to get high so he could take over the Resistance. But Mr. Ocean was the founder and official leader of the Resistance, and it was his responsibility to prevent this kind of dysfunction in the first place. He ultimately chose his addiction over his cause, and it led to the depressing sight Alaine encountered in the bathhouse. She saw her fellow dorikori desperately trying to squeeze more toxin out of their depressed, fungus-riddled leader by having sex with him, and he participated because he wanted to keep them hooked and therefore loyal to his cause.

It's one of the darkest stories in the series. But if there was sexual assault going on here, I wouldn't say Mr. Ocean was the perpetrator. I would say that no one was really to blame in this situation, it's just a fucked up scenario on its own. If I absolutely had to point fingers at something, it would be the toxin itself.

Others are free to disagree, but that's my assessment anyway. I apologize if this story tainted your opinion of this character! I try to give every character a good balance of good and bad traits, and one of the main themes of the series is "good people can do bad things". I do think some things are unforgivable though, and rape is one of them, so I get where you're coming from. I just don't think rape is what was happening here, at least not in a sexual sense. In a mental sense, sure, as he was robbing the soldiers of their free will.

Which could be just as bad, depending on you ask...

*

Questions/Comments?

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